Daily Walks, Daily Talks

my love at the moment....

2011-12-05T13:14:00.004+08:00

I am a person that always consider other people's thought and opinion especially to those people that i trust.

That is the reason why I couldn't really love just anybody, just anyone out there. But I may say, I easily fall in love or consider someone but I will not commit myself until I found what I am looking for.

Now, I am enjoying my love at the moment, my family, friends, my dmembers. These makes me live my life and love it. But God is good, or I will just say that He is full of love. I know, I don't deserve anything or anyone in this world considering how I am a person but thank God, He is love.

God makes me "kilig". At first I never really considered him, but since he cracked a joke and made me laugh, I started to know him. And yes, I am getting to know him in our few conversations. God also using him for me to be able to have an inspiration - a real inspiration. And most importantly, he got the respect of that people that i really love.

Yes, maybe, I really don't like him or love him yet, and yes, my mind just telling my heart to love and like him - but hey, I easily fall in love. He, from all the guys I know is the only person (as of this time) meet my standards and God's standards. And he is in reality.

God made it possible - 10 years....

2011-08-19T11:40:00.002+08:00

When i came to know Jesus Christ - it was like a dream. Having a purpose and meaning of my living. Never I thought that I will be counting years (and praying to continue to count more years) August 18, 2011 I celebrated my 10th year spiritual birthday. And looking back for the past years all I can say is "Thank you God, for making it possible".

A youth like me who grew up in a devoted family, sharing what the Bible say about Jesus wasn't easy. And having a bad temper and being impatient - I stumble and cause my family to question on what I believe. Through God's word, d-group meetings and youth bible study/retreats, little by little I learned how to properly share the gospel, not only how to share it but how will I live my life pleasing to God and attractive to others. As I've said it wasn't easy - but by God's grace, one by one, my family&relatives finally have a personal relationship with God, by accepting the gift of eternal life, putting their trust to Jesus Christ.. It is all because of God. I thank God for giving me the opportunity to be part of His work. Now, seeing my family and relatives - gives me joy.

7 out 10 years, I serve Jesus through youth ministry and I believe that I will be counting more years. As I celebrate my 10th year spiritual birthday - i never thought that God would entrust me of almost 300 youths... 150 students would be enough for me but God doubled it. I shared Jesus to 300 youths and it was amazing. Experiencing Jesus and sharing Him to others are enough for me but knowing and believing Jesus power - I am looking forward for the bonus: seeing some of those students to Jzone.

To end my celebration - I had a date with my spiritual mom. It is quite sometime that we haven't had a chance to have our one on one. I thank God for her - 10years of guiding my spiritual life. It was indeed a joyful moment (especially her message to me and the card that she gave to me...and :D )I am looking forward to more years to have dgroup meetings (my dleader and dgroupmates was indeed one of best model/example to me)...I am looking forward also to have more years of dgroup meetings with my anak and apos..

10 years - and God made it possible. I stumble, fall, turned my back against God but God's loving arms never let me go.... Thank you, my Heavenly Father for not letting me go, thank you for Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior... Thank you for the Holy Spirit that helps me to have characters You wanted me to have... I pray that I will be counting more years seeking You everyday, serving You, obeying You.God, send me.

Did I miss the bus..????

2011-06-21T13:11:00.004+08:00

For sometime, there is a question in my heart: "Did I miss the bus?" Is it I am being too harsh? Have high standard? Picky?

When, I will remember or talk to the person that I chose to be just friends and rejected their feelings towards me – I’m thinking – maybe, maybe he could be the right bus. That guy is loyal; he hasn’t breaking up with his girlfriend for so many years, it could be me. My mom likes him; he could be a good provider, he gives expensive gifts, he is a Christian, he teach in their church – he could be the right bus. Or the other guy, a Christian, active in ministry work, a kind and good person, not hot headed – he could be the right bus.

God took that question in my heart with what happened recently. I felt so fooled thinking they might be the bus for me.

A friend told me that it is easy to move on – if you believe that the man God prepared for you is not yet arriving. It is easy to move on if you see that person in your past that, they are not God’s best for you. And by the way, if you believe in God – do not have any reserves.

I thank God that finally, I could stand and firmly say that I haven’t yet missed the right bus for me. For now, I have no time to think about on waiting on the right bus, I am praying for it but for now it is not my heart desire. All I wanted to do is lead a lot of youth to Christ. I missed a lot of opportunity in the past, and I don’t want it to happen again. I want to be part of God’s work. I want to be His instrument.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens

I believe in His proper timing the right bus will soon arrive – but while I am waiting I will serve the Lord.

Isaiah 6:8
8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Childlike faith....

2011-04-30T19:53:00.003+08:00

i believe i already posted a topic like this...but i wanted to update what i am learning about childlike faith....

Recently, my 2 year old niece stayed with us for about 2weeks... and within that period, i've learned from her..

1. She follows and stays close the first person she always with and see with...
2. She prays nth times over a meal.
3. She will not pray until everyone already bowed their heads and close their eyes.
4. She talks a lot. She makes kwento.
5. She just say want she wants and believe that she will get it (pillow and milk).

contrast with me i lost maybe my childlike faith....

1. I never follow, because i haven't spent time with my God.
2. My prayer over a meal is some kinda ritual na lang...
3. I never wait for others, i just pray on my own...
4. I never talk and have a meaningful conversation with Jesus.
5. I never ask, because i might not get it.

and God is telling me

Matthew 18:2-4

2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

As of today, i am trying to apply all the lessons learned.... start from basic, start from being a child....

it is nice to be secure...

2011-04-30T19:08:00.002+08:00

i am an insecure person, in every area of my life i don't feel secure (except - spiritual life).... but these friend of mine not just thought me but showed me to be always secure...

I don't like silence, as much as possible we talk... i'm afraid of silence, i will thought that there must be something wrong... but to my friend, it was just a moment to hear other things...

and just a few months ago finally, i was finally been secured... this friend of mine really such such a good person.....as we walking, my shared something to me it is not a secret and it is not that deep but that moment i said to God "wow, not matter the circumstances, nothing will change, our friendship is still that.. thank you God"...

after that moment, i never been insecure... i never worry of silence (ok, slight na lang..hehehe)...

1 Samuel 18:3
3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.

still home...

2010-12-13T17:50:00.008+08:00

it was been a roller coaster ride for me and for my family for the past month.... I will no longer elaborate things but I'm glad - God never stop to mold me till the end of 2010...

I was just so thankful - that I'm now in the middle of the storm. Still and quiet in God's hand....

I am thankful to God that I am still and will sleep in my room - my room which full of my single days memories, my room that I neglected to clean up not till now... i'm so grateful that I cleaned it up - the night of my rest day.

welcome -

bagong ayos, bagong linis..

quiettime / studying Bible table

so thankful that I will not yet leave my stickers in my room (sayang din un...hahaha)

Isaiah 46:10
I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’

1 Samuel 16:7
but the LORD looks at the heart.

What my response that matters...what is my attitude towards others and towards the problem matters....

Thank God I was corrected and rebuked....

Now, the problem still existing but I'm now going home - real home.... Everyone are being mold, being more loving to one another......

The Bridge

2010-11-26T11:52:00.004+08:00

June 30 ng magsimulang gawin ang tulay ng guiguinto sa may ilang-ilang. Matagal ng alam ng tao na gagawin ang tulay na ito ngunit sa tagal na dapat ay nagsimula ito hindi namin o ako inasahan na nun araw na iyon ay sisimulan na.

I maybe not one of the people who complained that day. I was comfortable in an aircon car (but the driving makes me dizzy, so I rather walk sa ilang - ilang than to try that car again.)So I have waited for Monday to see what really going on - the bridge is still passable well by people only so we have to walk from the welding shop to the other side of the bridge. I feel it is ok, everything is ok. Until....

Until, store came out like a mushroom, until they made a metal bridge besides the real bridge. The metal bridge was scary to pass by - because I thought if I would fall or the bridge will fall I will fall directly to the river (which quite not that clean).
I then started to complain, the long walk (from white house(if traffic is bad from rolling door shop) to almost guiguinto municipal and vice versa)....I was so irritated all the vendor and their goods.... I blame them for the traffic and all stuff...
but God changed my heart....
I used to buy their goods, I enjoy seeing them,.. It was also during the construction were I did memorizing verses... I started seeing things as Jesus... I became more grateful and thankful to Jesus, I became more close to Jesus because everytime that I will walk there I will talk to Jesus instead of complaining. Started to believe in good government...It makes people have patience - like waiting on jeepney to go, patience in seating on a jeep half... I enjoyed rain because of the bridge.... I learned how to smile - I always make kasalubong the people I know...

Making the ilang-ilang bridge is not that bad.....it makes me fit (walking), it makes me more grateful and thankful, more patient, it makes another tambayan.....

Today, I was surprised that it is already passable. :) pwede na siguro akong sundiin at ihatid...hahaha...kidding, I'll gonna miss walking on that bridge, I'll gonna miss those people I used to meet and see on that bridge....

Thank God, it was finished.

What really matter....

2010-10-27T09:31:00.002+08:00

sometimes you make a decision out of what matter to you most....

I wanted to see him, wanted to have some closure, wanted to be just a friend a mere friend... i wanted not to hope or i wanted not to miss him anymore or think of him.....

but....other matter more than him....

my disciple matter to me - knowing that she looks up to me, i just can't be vulnerable in committing sin...i must walk my talk.
my accountability partner matter to me - knowing that she is a great person makes me want to be a great person. She always reminds me not to lower my standards because I am God's child.
my dleader matter to me - I wanted her to know that it is possible - it is hard but it is possible...
my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ matter to me - I ask myself if I will see the guy will it bring glory to my Master? Will I die if I didn't see him?

So I decided to just make my hair healthy...so that, if ever I change my decision I can't because I have no more money... :)
I thank God for the people He is using for me to make a good decisions...

Proverbs 16:32-33

32 Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.
33 The lot is cast into the lap,
but its every decision is from the LORD

it is easy to say no to the person that not really matter to you, because you say yes to those who matter to you most...

humility in times of brokenness

2010-10-14T14:45:00.002+08:00

I wanted her to come home that day... I cannot contain the pain; I cannot stand seeing my friends crying, stress etc. I thought I could do it, I could protect them so that I will not see her also in pain but I come to the point that I need her, I need her leadership, her care, her love.

When I used to be just a student – everything seems so easy. If I would have problems, I will just text her/ call her (then I will call/text her after I talked to God). I would use my privilege of being just a little child. Until, I start caring for her, I start feeling the pain she’s going through, I start taking care of the responsibilities that she’s doing. I thought, being the one who will encourage everyone, who will take good care of them will help her to do other things. That she will not be overwhelmed by the problems. I never knew that slowly it shows that I took her position, I never wanted it – all I want is not to see her cry. Until, I just feel that I also have to do it.

Doing this, little by little I also take care of my own problems. Unlike before – I share to her all my secrets – she is the 1st person to know everything about me. I may have some secrets but little by little I already told it to her. It was hard to bring back the old times – I am reaping what I sow and it really crushing my heart but I realized God is telling me “My child, just humble yourself.” No more excuses, no more if’s and buts’.”

Now, I’m not trying to protect her and please her – I’m loving her through obedience. I try everything I could for her not to be disappointed at me but God telling me – just obey and she will be joyful. Obeying Jesus with all my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength will bring joy to the person I really love not only just to her but to everyone else.

Proverbs 18:12
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.

Grateful....

2010-08-30T14:27:00.005+08:00

I am a person who is easily getting affected of the circumstances, of what other people say or what others do - especially if they really matters to me. I react without thinking, I get bitter and bitter for months and even years. I am an emotional and relational person. I value every relationships I have like friendship,small group relationship etc. I don't used them if it is not really that kind of relationship I have with them.

For the recent months I lost lots of friends - I was saddened by the fact that I lost them because I have to prioritize what I have to prioritize. I lost them because I chose to be friends with them. I lost one of them because of no reason. Losing someone who really means a lot to me is like loosing some part of me. For sometimes, I contemplate about it, sometimes I regret things that I did. But I realized I don't have to regret things especially when I did things to obey God.

Now, I realized I have so much to thank to God. My family who is super loving and understanding to me especially my mom, my relatives who continuing to seek God, my Dgroup Leader who is super loving and understanding to me, my Dgroupmates who always encourage me, inspire me who always makes time for me, my Dgroup members who always been an encourager and motivator to me. Friends who still keep in touch with me, who misses me, who is being shock of my transformation, my officemates/co-workers who always see my beauty and smile and there are so much to thank for but all glory and honor to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Who makes me do things that what He wants me to do. It is really hard sometimes, but Jesus Himself enabling me to do things I can't do with my own... He allows me to have time for things that will last for eternity...

A friend always keep telling (as a joke), "hindi ka naman ganyan dati" It really makes me think, where my friend is coming from - I always think that I change but for a good, but I keep on thinking, maybe that friend told that because - I always look down on myself, I always been lowering my standard because of the past, I always been bitter that I say bad things to people even judging their salvation. Slowly but surely, I am trying to really follow all God's decree, I don't say I am perfect but, now I make sure to do things for God and to change things that not pleasing to God.... and to always be grateful to Jesus....

Psalm 100:2
Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

A Magical Experienced at EK.

2010-08-23T20:15:00.003+08:00

It was my desire to go to EK, never experience EK for 24 years of my life. I planned for it before my birthday, but I was thinking that I would like someone to went with me –
Isaiah 55:8
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.indeed, I thank Him for having a great planned that my plan… I can’t imagine how would I enjoy EK with someone else.

EK would also be the Galera reunion (it was just some couldn’t make it for more important priority). I went with the people that was closed with my heart.
Kuya Ic – this guy, he trust me…hahaha…and believes in me… I am thankful to God for him to have him as kuya, I will never forget how he entertained a friend of mine and how he examine that guy. Though pinapayat ako nito for some time eh but nabawi na un sa kainan sa JIL. It was a talked between brother and sister in Christ, between a friend. What was the memorable moment with him sa EK, walang iba kung hindi nun sasakay kaming 6 sa space shuttle. Imagine, pinalalakas nya loob nya sa pagtingin sa mga batang tsino na sasakay din ng space shuttle.

Kuya Mic – one of my closest kuya …aside from kuya KC, I love both of them – they make me feel so secure and super bunso. Kuya mic, so sensitive, responsible, careful. Imagine, he knows kung sino ang nawawala sa amin, without saying a word to him , he would always be at our back looking out for us. Memorable time with Him at EK, hmmmm… hmmmm, many to mentions…hahaha… hindi ko pa nga ito na one on one eh, hahaha..so kuya mic, buslo tayo…hahaha

Mariz – my tour guide, hay, sya ang tour guide na tour guide talaga…hahaha… I love my litter sister… she never change ever since. She is so pure and loving,. Thank you for showing EK to me, you are the best tour guide and photographer. I am looking forward to be with you sa Dgroup, hahaha… lumabas na ba ang result???
Ate Lorna – naibigay ko na sainyo ang picture, iyon na iyon…funny moment with her at EK sa anchors away, ganda ng photo nya dun,..hahaha…pareho kaming takot na takot… this girl, super simple and so kind… un mga balls ko ah…hahaha, I know how much she loves me as she loves clang… 

Clang – super loyal friend of mine, hindi na sya natulog para lang makasama sa EK.  really appreciate it… syempre, walang party kung wala ka…hahaha..buhay na buhay kami dahil kay clang…. Thanks for riding the space shuttle,.hahaha…na nagustuhan mo ng todo pero ayaw mo pa nun una….hahaha

Ate Minet – sya ang nagpalakas ng loob ko to ride the roller skater na nasa harap kami, sya din ang katabi ko sa space shuttle. Best moment? Space shuttle ride, oh not the ride but the waiting…super daming quotes ang nabuo namin nila ate minet, clang at jenna sa kahihintay…haba ng pila… ate minet, next time na bumalik tayo ng EK sa harap na tayo sasakay…hahaha

Jenna – kulitan sa pila ng riogrande, hahaha..nabalitaan mo na nangyari sa mag bf-gf???hahaha…. Ang pinakabasa sa lahat… thanks sa shirt – you know how to best describe me…hahaha, thanks din sa letter, you are really getting out of your way… what was funny to that letter is just that it seems we just say things the same, parang nagsagutan ang letter namin….

Ate marie – SRR x the best moment, lagi na lang sya ang nagkakapasa kahit galera days… walang katapusang kwento about that horror house for sure pag nagkita ulit, un ulit ang kwento… hahaha… thanks for the shirt also, kapag sinuot ko un I will be like you na talaga…hahaha… thanks for driving – gusto mo ng massage??carwash ko si wyt?? Thanks to wyt also,. 

We really experienced God for the whole day… Safe trip, maiksing pila (compare sa naranasan ng iba) naka 9 kami.bumpcar, anchors, wheel of faith, space shuttle, srr x, flying fiesta, riogrande, realto, 4d,.. dami noh?? Super sulit, nagkapagpicture pa kami before umuwi. Had a great meal at mcdo and chowking…. Nagsimula ang araw sa cristine at nagtapos sa cristine hahaha….kelan ko kaya mapapanood to??? Hahaha…
Ang sarap ng kasama mo si God sa lakad talaga and with the people who love God also… Would you believe na nagkapag dgroup pa kami??? Sulit ang araw, super enjoy… super duper enjoyed that day, I know how they sacrifice just to go to EK, and I’m thankful to God for that. I really appreciates it…

I missed Monet, ade and ate anna...see you soon...

Thank You Jesus....

PS. one more thing, God made us laughed to the fullest when were almost near at malolos - biglang tumugtog ang "back at one" hahahaha....kinilig ang mga ka-dgroup ko sa totoo lang...hahaha... well, sabi ko nga eh - kay top one pa din ako.... hahaha... really, God made me feel so love that day and He made sure that I will feel that I'm with that someone.... :)

Silver Person – 25th Birthday

2010-08-23T20:06:00.002+08:00

Nothing fancy, nothing is different but it was a day full of joy. Did not receive flowers, no surprises but full of love…. That would describe my day….
I wake up early as 4:30am receive already some text from friends, had my quiettime. Heard the crow of chickens (love it, hear it again….i finally hear it again…) I cleaned our comfort room, cooked breakfast, cleaned my room. Received again some text from friends and relatives (I didn’t receive much text this year, maybe because I always change nos. and some I didn’t received their text). Went to marcelo that afternoon, met my chemistry teacher…. It was fun and sad to watch those youths…. I love to really see youths… I believed that afternoon, there was a celebration in heaven… ;)Went to computer shop and found there were lots of greetings in fb… had my pedicure done… and received the news that I will be the one going to a seminar (1st time eh…)
It was really totally different from last year, but it was better ( just getting better and better every year sabi nga ng friend ko)… It was first time that I was greeted by my officemates and co – workers ang sarap pala ng binabati… It was this month that I cry a lot… it was this month I received my certificate in GLC with honors.... It was been first time that there will be no special greeting, it was my first time to celebrate my birthday without working.
The day ended well, one of my tita greeted me, late na daw ang greet nya pero sabi ko nga closing ng araw. My mom and my brother prayed for me it was the time that I felt it was my birthday. It was the first time that they prayed for me in my birthday na naririnig ko… 
To summary the one year that passed by – God taught me to respect, obey, submit, to be content and satisfied in Jesus. God showed me unfailing love, patience, trust and protection….
I have to sleep early that day. 

Deuteronomy 7:9
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.

i believe that it will not just a two part story....there more stories of how God is always been faithful to me...

9 years with Him….

2010-08-17T13:32:00.000+08:00

Another year has passed by and now I’m celebrating (Aug. 18, 2010) my 9th year spiritual birthday. Indeed it was been a roller coaster ride, but in the end what is important God never let me go – He is faithful as He promise.

I learned a lot from last year, by God’s grace somehow I am been sweet to my family, I am learning to tame my tongue and lower my voice if I am talking to my mom. Though there were times that I totally hurt my mom and brother it was been an event that wake me up to really strive to be the best daughter and sister. Lately, I am enjoying my time with them - going to the mall with my mom, playing with my small brother and eating.

I am learning and practicing obedience and submission to my spiritual leaders. I rebelled – by God’s grace He disciplined me. I experienced God’s love towards me through my dleader, how she has been so patient and loving towards me as she always says “I love you more”. God also used my dgroupmates for me to be able to response well in every circumstance I encountered. Even my dmembers and apos God used for me to decide things rightly. I miss my dmembers, it’s quite a while we don’t consistenly see each other, but I am happy everytime I hear reports from them. I am joyful to see how God is working in their life. I am also thankful to God for my spiritual family, through them God molds my character.

God also taught me a lot in the aspect of love. Love is not blind, it is just you don’t want to see things that is wrong. Love is not a rush; there is no race on it. And giving chances is not the other way not to hurt people, it is better to reject from the very first start and always stick with God’s standard.

Now, I am joyfully living my life to the fullest. Jesus refocused my life. Giving me the passion to share God’s word to others and make a difference.

All glory and honor to my one and only Savior Jesus Christ.

Isaiah 61:1-4

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

fashion- 071910

2010-07-20T18:45:00.004+08:00

T-shirt, pants/shorts and rubbershoes will do. It was been my clothes since I was a kid. I don’t mind what will I be look like as long as I am comfortable. I don’t like dress or skirt, though I wear it whenever I have to. But as the year goes by, I started to be interested wearing girl clothes. Well, it is just recent that I am more becoming fan of fashion.

I started looking at the net, brochure, magazine etc. I now like going to mall not to play basketball in arcade, but to have a window shopping. I will be satisfied to see new arrival of clothes kahit sa DAU lang sa bayan (well, I’ll be more satisfied if I’ll gonna buy one shirt/blouse). Don’t get me wrong I’m not being more materialistic, it is just that my feminine side is coming out.

Yesterday, I had a thanksgiving party to attend, weeks from that day, my friend and I was thinking what we will wear. I texted her and tell her what outfit I thought that I’ll going to wear. She replied “masyadong simple”, “boyish”… so after that, I started looking for the nice blouse. Thursday – I went to Malolos bayan (inikot ko lahat…), didn’t find anything that suitable to my taste and budget. Friday – I went to Robinson balagtas (bibo outlet). I find nice blouse there but I still didn’t buy it (baka kasi may makita pa akong mura)… Saturday, I told my friend that I see one nga, I describe it to her and she told me that will be a nice one – I just tell her, but if I’ll going to buy that I have to be mahinhin. We went to a boutique that day but can’t find anything. So I was decided to buy that blouse at rob.

Night came, and my mom text me. And I got an idea, I texted my mom, telling her that can she buy me a blouse to wear for tomorrow party (ayaw ko talaga kasi gumastos). She replied yes, so even it is already 730 in the evening and there is a heavy rain, me and my mom went to rob balagtas. I fitted the blouse and it is really good. We bought it. (my mom bought her own dress also).

I wore that blouse yesterday (worship service). And it was overwhelming, I was really overwhelmed by their comments. J Since, Misty became my fashion consultant – positive ang result. She would encourage me to try that and that. Aside from her, Tenim is also one of my encourager. She is the one suggesting colors that I should wear kung ano iyong magpapalutang ng beauty ko. J thank you both.

But of course, I will never forget to thank my God, my creator. To be honest He is really the one who makes me beautiful everyday of my life (it is really hard, right mga ka-dgroup???) but I’ll always use everything that God has given me for His glory.

Song of Solomon 1:15
[ Lover ] How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

again....

2010-07-11T17:43:00.002+08:00

for the nth time... im doing it again... why i always have to let them stop when for the first place i let them start???

maybe - they still not have the quality of my ideal man.... maybe it is not really for now... i'm just imagining that the guy that i will marry will be having a loooooooong suffering before he get my "yes"... there will be no more courtship/date/panunuyo/ or whatever you call that... i'm just tired of rejecting... It is really hard to do, but i have to...

i just thank my God for sparing me of doing mistakes all over again...

i thank God for the people He used... I was able to see myself as a child of God... i never need to lower God's standard... I was able to put my faith on Jesus - for in Him nothing is impossible... :) (excited)... i know it will be not so soon.... :)

i am beautiful right now not because of guy(s) it is because of Jesus... :)

Esther 2:9
The girl pleased him and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food.

It's been a while

2010-04-16T22:50:00.002+08:00

It's been a while, that I finally sat down and make an entry for my blog.... for the past month lot of things happened... My brother already a graduate - excited for his employment... I am most joyful, because he may not have medals but he is a winner for me... how i see him grow in love with Jesus.. He is so passionate to serve Jesus, how he become a man who girls would love....

I finally break my record, going 4months working at St. Paul, I'm loving it.. :) I am enjoying every single day of working...though, sometimes I get tired and exhausted but when you see God working - it pump me up to work and shine for Jesus...

for the past months, i encountered people who encourage me and discourage me, make me exhausted and everything... Thank God, mas marami pa rin taong encouraging at masarap kausap... :)

words of the week...

2010-01-18T19:09:00.003+08:00

Words that comforted me this week... Thank God for it....

One night I'm sad and I was comforted with this....

"Alam mo ginawa tayo ni God na may emotion at kahit ano pa ang nararamdaman mo ngayon, He understands."

In a meeting instead of saying LSS unconsciously I said LOL (fortunately, only one person heard it and said to me while tapping my back....

"it's ok... I understand - :)"

As I asked a person (you are one of a kind - hope there still someone like you out there..hahaha) "What are you doing to move on?"

"Wala, Si God mismo ang nagbibigay ng comfort"

I agree. God really comforts us. cheers to that... :)

God and people understand me - what I am going thru... God also crying with me.... and it makes me more strong than ever. Last night I still feel the sadness, nothing to look back or to look at - I have all the time to talk to God...

It hurts me, I don't know why - I am just sad the fact that I hurry things - I was so impatient before. It hurts my pride that they are right, God is right and I am wrong. But in this I see God's grace because He gave me courage to get out of that situation. He forgave me. It saddened me, maybe because I am expecting that I will see that my love before is worth it, maybe I am expecting that people will see that somehow I am right. I thank God for going thru this process - I am seeing the deeper intention of my heart and it gave me opportunity to always focus on Jesus.

Since the day God get me out of that situation... God never stop to say how beautiful I am (my love language - affirmation, appreciation, time). People will say "ang ganda mo" - in ways that I am not expecting - everywhere I go - un at un ang sinasabi. I also having lots of time with God - kaya I really feel love - love that I need to heal my wounded heart.

yeah, it hurts but if the world say "kung mali ang ibigin ka, ayoko ng maging tama" I will say, "I'll choose to be hurt for awhile than to be away from You - because I trust in Your word"

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Exercise Daily

2010-01-08T18:10:00.005+08:00

I learned a secret...to exercise daily...walk with Jesus...

Genesis 5:24
Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.

Genesis 6:9
This is the account of Noah. Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God.

This year, my heart desire is to really walk with God... i learned that I don't have to hurry things... ang matulin maglakad kung matinik ay malalim... I don't need to hurry things just to get to that goal all I have to do is walk with Jesus side by side... in His perfect time - my wound would be healed...

I am persistent on going to gym not only because for preparing for summer but - it makes me more discipline... I am more focus on my goal.

Same with my goal, all I have to do is always go to Jesus, He'll be my focus and I'll pass the test...
Walking with Jesus will makes me more like Him...

time...

2010-01-04T15:32:00.003+08:00

I believe I already posted an entry about time but anyway wanted to post another.

Yesterday, I dreamed a dream. It was me and my friending. I'm giving her lots of kisses and hugs, I really wanted to talk to her, but in that dream we never talk. I learned from that dream.

That morning, while listening to the message "Jesus loves me extravagantly" again, God impressed to my heart not to waste my time in thinking about people flaws. Thinking of people I really don't like. Instead to love the people extravagantly (well, those people I do already love - in the process pa iyong iba)... I wanted to me more sweet, to be more caring. I will love extravagantly because my time here on earth will not be long as I thought (but as my friends says magtatagal daw ako dito sa mundo..:D), yesterday, I did a lot of things, worship, play shooting, eat, did household chores, watch tv, read bible....

Today, I wake up as if it will be my last day. I told Jesus, if it will be my last day then I will pray because in heaven I can't do it na. I know, in the following days God will make the rest of my time here on earth worthwhile.

Tomorrow, I'll be working again where I started. :D tomorrow, I'll go to the gym again. tomorrow will be another day...

2010 goal

2010-01-02T13:46:00.002+08:00

1. Share the gospel to 200 persons.
2. Attend a company Christmas party.
3. Save money. (limit to P150 load per month)
4. To be joyfully single whole year (but they can express their feelings pa din, our house is open.)
5. To multiply my dgroup. To make Christ's committed followers who will make committed followers, who will make committed followers.
6. Help my sisters to multply their dgroup members.
7. To have a grand summer vacation with my family.
8. To go to palawan with my Singles dgroup.
9. To pray at prayer mountain.
10. To have a videoke party on my birthday.
11. To work for 3 yrs straight in one company.
12. To be more loving and sweet with my family and friends.
13. To be a sunday school teacher.
14. Finish reading the Bible again.
15. Watch movies often.
16. Conduct a bible study in barangay. (cofradia??)
17. Exercise often. (gym)
18. Gain new friends.
19. Smile often. (laugh)
20. Buy psp or ps2.
21. Treat ate ethel
22. have a pure heart (no impure thoughts about other people, no gossips, no bad feelings)
23. To have a quiet and gentle spirit.
That's for now...

at home at last

2009-12-21T09:43:00.002+08:00

Coming home is impossible
that's what I say.
He said, "It's not"
My child, come home.

When I went away,
All I'm thinking is,
I will be happy,
I will be right.

I was been happy,
I felt so right.
But in my heart,
I am missing home.

T'was been long process
Will I come home?
Will I be happy?
Will it be right?

I finally decided to,
to really come home
and to my surprise
It is not impossible.

My Father welcomed me.
His arms are open-wide
my heart is joyful
and everybody is rejoicing

cac 122009

Looking back....

2009-12-10T12:34:00.006+08:00

It was been 2 years and 3 months that I'm going to ccf office and it was been 1 yr and 5 months that I am employed... It was an up and down ride for me - looking back all I see is God's grace - grace that for 10months of being volunteer - I didn't die because of starving, I was still able to go to retreats, do household choir, fetch my brother, share the gospel more. Being employed in ccf - looking back - I see God's grace, through my work that God gave me, we have an apartment to rent, my brother will finish his 2 yr course this coming March 2010, able to share the gospel in different places, study God's word more, meet lots of people (who by the way test your character, though I like some of them), God really mold my character here super big time - I'll go out proud of what Jesus did.

I remember my 1st few months here in ccf - I'll have my lunch break devoted only to God. I'll sing praises, I'll read His word. I really wanted to finish well, but I guess I fell short. Today, I'm singing praises of song to my God I wanted to end as I started maybe not really in all aspect. I know, I have to go now though it was my dream to serve God I believe God wanted me to serve Him in different ways (it is not about me, I hope the person who asked why I'm leaving my dream job got an answer here in my blog entry). I never wanted to leave my comfort zone, but I have to. I am not growing anymore, I am not serving anymore, I am not sharing God's word anymore.

There are many memories here in ccf especially in balaga bldg. - here I cried a lot, laugh alone, eat alone. I would like to make special thanks to God for my virtual officemate - since I started she is the one who I talked to when I am bored, when it is coffee break, lunch break, uwian time. Thanks to people who drop by at my office just for me to be able to have someone to talk to. Thanks to my bosses, thanks to all the leaders (especially those who love me and believe in me). Excited na ako to have my first sunday worship being just a worshipper. I am excited to mingle and smile to people.

I am really looking forward to what's next to me - there are lots of fears but looking back - one thing never change - God - is the same yesterday, today , tomorrow and forever. When God closes a door, He will open a BIG gate. ;)

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

LEAD ME LORD
Gary V.

Lead me Lord, lead me by the hand
And make me face the rising sun
Comfort me through all the pain
That life may bring
There's no other hope
That I can lean upon
Lead me Lord Lead me all my life
Walk by me, walk by me across
The lonely road that I may face
Take my arms and let your hadn
Show me the way
Show the way to live inside your heart
All my days, all my life

Refrain: You are my light
You're the lamb upon my feet
All the time my Lord
I need You there
You are my light I (just) cannot live alone
Let me stay
By Your guiding love
All through my life
Lead me Lord
Lead me Lord Even though at times
I'd rather go alone my way
Help me take the right direction
Take Your road Lead me Lord
And never leave my side
All my days
All my life
You are my light
You're the lamb upon my feet
All the time my Lord
I need You there
You are my light I (just) cannot live alone
Let me stay By Your guiding love
All through my life
All through my days Lead me, O Lord Lead me Lord

Men, Men, Men

2009-12-09T14:24:00.002+08:00

Since I was a child, I really don't have much of guy friends because I don't like to have guy friends na not really good, I have a high standard. When I enter high school, I'm not really that friendly to guys (even up to now) - suplada ako, masungit, I will make them feel that I'm higher than them so they could respect me. I have a bad impressions to guys. When I was in elementary, I will compete with my uncle whom with my same age - too bad He could sing and I'm not so dinaan ko na lang sa academics. Funny, it change somehow. When I became a Christian, I learned to respect men but I go extreme to the point that I was discouraged. I should have taken there words talaga don't focus on men focus to Jesus.

I realized how loving Jesus is, because me - I couldn't do what He did, love people who don't believe in Him, listen to Him... Again, I'm going back to my old form - not talking too much with guys. I feel there is no point of talking to them (especially to one person) which don't know how to give respect to a girl like me. Gggrrrr... It makes me mad when I'm recalling how he talked/answered me... Good thing is, I have more time talking to Jesus making sumbong of them...

350 points

2009-11-26T16:24:00.002+08:00

I set a new record for myself - 350 points level 4 sabi ng friend ko "may pinaghuhugutan kasi" hahaha... Yeah, I want to exert out my energy... It helps, and buying new shirt helps too...

I just don't want to speak it out (to the person) because I just assumed it. And it makes me tired to always ask or start the conversation. I just hate ignoring me, asking something then heard nothing then its like nothing??? ggggrrrrr... I must admit and everybody know that I am full of pride (believe me I am trying really hard - there is an evidence)... but sometimes, I am tired of understanding. Monday, I told God "God i am tired of making suyo to people, I'm just tired making the effort (God heard me that time - I was surprised tuesday morning.=> I felt His unconditional love )

I hate ignoring me and then as if nothing happens, I am tired of hearing kwentos then I'll give encouragement. Feeling ko upos na upos na ako ng time na yun, tapos may fear pa ako. I know the important of openness but sometimes you just can't open it. Because instead you open it, you'll just have to understand it. Doon ako na sana'y, to understand people around me. (i am crying na)... and that is the reason why I always make papansin.

Kaya lang, time will come that you can't handle it anymore. You don't have enough strength to understand them. And this time is the best time to be at Jesus' feet.

Fear

2009-11-26T16:05:00.003+08:00

In the journey you walking there will come a time that you will feel tremble because of fear. I am a strong person, being the eldest you have to be physically, emotionally, spiritually strong, I thought.

I feared a lot of things before but it is not the same as today. I still fear of heights, I still fear to watch scary movies. I never imagine that I will be fearful as I am. Days ago I realize that there a lot of things that I fear. I have lot of anxious thoughts, maybe that is the reason why I can't sleep at night.

I fear that my family and close friends will leave me (I just can't imagine if I can still be strong if that happens - this early)they are not forever. That eventually they will not have time for me. I fear to be alone in the end. I don't want to open my eyes when I wake up in the middle of the night especially if the light is turn off. I fear to see things and hear things. I fear to go to CR in our office because it was dark and I am alone. Uncharacteristic of me is that nowadays I often sleep with my mom and brothers, though I don't like the smell of their room and even it is hot there and siksikan I will choose to sleep with them for the sake that I have someone besides me.
Maybe it is just in my mind because I never fear walking alone going home.

John 16:33
33"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

I know sooner or later I'll be better.

God calls me friend....

2009-11-09T13:55:00.001+08:00

I am a friend of God by Israel Houghton

VERSE:
Who am I that you are mindful of me
That you hear me, when I call
Is it true that you are thinking of me
How you love me, it's amazing (Who am I Lord)

CHORUS:
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

BRIDGE:
God Almighty
Lord of Glory
You have called me friend

we sang this song yesterday worship service...before i went to ccf, I missed my friending - looking at the mirror reminds me of her....

friend, friending yan ang tawagan namin... i know she's already with God... i knew it, i already accepted it hindi lang maiwasan ma-miss sya...she's the only person who called me friend/friending...

singing the song, want my tears to fall because i miss her but it encourage me - knowing my God, our God calls me friend.

friending, wala ka man ngayon dito to hear my sentiments, to embrace me, to affirm me... but God is with me - He will be my comfort and source of strength...

I am missing you so much... especially, sunday's....

a different night

2009-11-05T12:07:00.002+08:00

we always go out and have our one on one... and for the past one on one/dates we always cry (she does more on the crying)... For the past few weeks i am pretty much busy on other things,. and i just don't know when she's free... over the chat we plan to have our one on one this week.... finally, doubting (not really pretty much excited going out until the last minute of planning where we will eat) if matutuloy pa...finally, late wed. afternoon, matutuloy ang aming date....

we went to max's restaurant (P99 sulit)... had a long night talk....nadaig pa namin dgroup ni SR (nauna pa silang umuwi)...hahaha... it was different... the joy (couldn't explain...) it was different from the previous meeting we had. I finally saw her laughing out loud with matching blush on her whole face...hahhaha... at least for that night I never made her cry.

(next part - for her ear's only)....

looking for more, sister's bonding.... :)

Trust

2009-10-27T12:06:00.002+08:00

'“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” George MacDonald'

I like to be trusted by people, I feel loved when they fully trust me. I don't like them giving me a benefit of the doubt because it means they don't fully trust me. I can't trust people who don't trust me, I don't give much love to those who didn't trust me. I can't give my best to those who don't trust me. I don't like people doubting me, I don't know why maybe it is pride, because I know for myself that I am honest and they don't have to doubt.

Trust - that is also the reason why me and my friending got a long way. I felt the trust that she gave to me. I trust her also - kaya when she say I am beautiful, I am..when she say that na namumutla ako, I will make some changes. I felt the trust she has to me when, I will correct her and then when we meet the next time she already made the changes needed (and I trust her that she already did it).

Trust is important in a relationship, if there is no trust the relationship will be drifted apart. When you want to be assured of salvation - you have to only trust Jesus that He is the Savior. You have to put your faith on Him to have a relationship with Jesus. Life is so uncertain - you got to trust Jesus.

1 Corinthians 13:6-8
6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.

WHAT KIND OF MAN SHOULD YOU BE LOOKING FOR?

2009-09-11T11:30:00.003+08:00

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, “What kind of man are you looking for?”

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking “Do you really want to know?” Reluctantly, he said “Yes”.

She began to expound…”As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household with out the help of any man…or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask “What can you bring to the table?” The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated “I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life.”

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain. She said, “I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked…believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.”

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said “You are asking a lot.” She replied “I’m worth a lot.”

WHAT KIND OF MAN I AM LOOKING FOR? Same as her…if I will be asked, my answer would be the same as her. He doesn’t need to be perfect but striving for perfection. Mentally, he doesn’t need to be intelligent but at least smart enough, knows lot of things in life. Spiritually, he doesn’t have to be a pastor or missionary, as long as he is living out Jesus given mission (making committed followers of Jesus Christ). He doesn’t need to be a millionaire, (a house consist of 3 bedrooms are ok with me, with a halfcourt (basketball)..hahahahaha..pwede na rin may swimming pool, and a car…hahaha). I love this, sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman (moody pa naman ako), but strong enough to keep me grounded. Yes, I am looking for someone who I can respect. I will not marry a man whom I can’t be submissive. People knew that I am strong, that I am a bossy type of girl (they are wrong). Ask THEM, how could I not be submissive to the person that I will love unconditionally? If I’m asking a lot, it is because I’m worth a lot.

Things before I say “Yes” to a guy

Well bakit ko naman sasabihin??? He has to make an effort to know what my likes.... I’ll share one, “pa-deliver ng food (merienda or lunch sa workplace ko)..With flowers (Malaysian mums cost only P25)…it doesn’t have to be expensive..

Things before I say “I do” to a guy

Secret ulit. Gusto ko iyong sariling sikap nya malaman.

1 Corinthians 13:3-8a

3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.

My 24th Birthday!!! Part 3

2009-09-04T11:32:00.004+08:00

Finally, my last part of my birthday celebration (I've told you it is a month long celebration) .... To end my birthday month, God gave me a weekend vacation - I went to Puerto Galera with my singles dgroup and our bodyguards.

It was planned by almost a month. Planning for this vacation is not that easy and I thank God for the people He used to make this vacation happened.

It is what I really wanted the most - to have a vacation, to enjoy, to relax, to have fun, to be far away from the city, to be far away from work.... I do enjoyed the galera trip, though somethings didn't happened as I expected but all in all 10/10 ang galera trip for me... Well, it is my first time there and to really experience a vacation trip...

How did I experienced God and how He make me happy??? He provided for me. I am learning to take good pictures (hahaha, malapit ko ng matupad pangarap ko...konti n lng taon)... I enjoy eating there (I had 1 1/2 rice ng dinner)... saw the fish under the sea - nakita ko si nemo..hahaha...pinaka-gusto ko iyong blue starfish (lovely).... sarap ng banana boat the best iyong 3rd drop (3rd drop nga ba un?)ahahaha... sarap magpapicture...hahaha...finally, nakapaglaro ulit ng volleyball...kahit ala naman nangyayari (hahaha, puro serve lang ng serve..hahaha)... i enjoy the kulitan with my sisters and with my kuya's...I enjoyed the night were monet and I talked (kahit gusto ko na rin umiyak, still I didn't.)...

The next morning, we got up early for our devotion time... I do enjoyed it really - encounter God that time but really not into it... just wanted to stare at the sea...
Protection ni God, we are safe na nakarating sa batangas pier (grabeng experienced iyon..hahaha) I enjoyed the bus ride going home - the best ang bus na iyon (sosyal)..hahaha...love my small talk with ate marie....

I'm planning to go back sa puerto galera - to do the things that I haven't done there... :) hopefully, maganda na iyong masakyan kong boat...hahaha

Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me such wonderful people who showed me their love (my family, my relatives, singles dgroup, youth dgroup, spiritual family, Kaiomee Cradle friends, my friends and all... I will treasure them forever - thank You for the gifts that I received but mostly thank You - for Your love, kindness, goodness and faithfulness. Thank you for making me joyful in my 24th birthday. Thank You for another year that I will live for You. Thank You for giving Your Son Jesus Christ. I love you my Dad. In Jesus name. amen.

My 24th Birthday!!! Part 2

2009-08-27T17:17:00.009+08:00

I praise God for the people He given me, for the people who loves me... Being 24 is something special to me.. since last year, inaabangan ko na itong araw na ito. I wished for something - it didn't happened. Maybe next year, or next next year, still I am joyful being 24 inspite that what I really wished for didn't come true... I believe it is not yet the time, and the best is yet to come.. :)

On the day of my birthday, I experienced Jesus. He reminds me of how He being a servant (hopefully, that one day I could be like Him - having a servant heart). Ang dami kong reklamo, nalungkot, naging masaya ako ng araw ng aking kaarawan. I had a mixed emotion that day, but the joy that God gave me prevails.

What I received this year???? here it is...
NIV bible from my mom.... really love it... :)talagang sinabi ko na ito ang bilhin nya sa akin..hahaha... (grabe, super spoiled ako kay mama nitong august..:) ) She bought me a 1 dozen white rose... and she just pour petals on my bed (lovely) I slept that night (aug.21) like a princess... (take note: si mama ko din nagpamerienda sa amin nun 21 ng hapon..hahaha...i'm such a ...hahaha..beloved..)

To be honest, my birthday is just an ordinary day... no fancy things, no parties etc. (hope next year magpapaparty na ako...hahaha)... until, sa office a friend (yohan) surprised me...He brought flowers, card, and a (ano nga ba tawag dun?basta pangdisplay)... God is just so sweet..;)

Hanggang sa maghapon, tita shiela gave a blouse, ms. emy gave cookies....

and at night I got a chance to celebrate my birthday with my friends (also our anniversary)...they brought icecream and cake, they gave me some gifts (pangkamot, plastic balloon (sinong character un?), pang-massage and a book (which I used for my devotion) - super thoughtful nila... :) i felt welcome again.. :)

the following day, we had a dgroup and single night... as expecting (as usual, this year we make some surprises sa mga birthday celebrant) but not expecting what they will be given to me... Wow,..hehehe...a basketball ball, uniform, risk band....(I do appreciated it - I slept with my ball, minsan eto un yakap ko..hahaha...) kelan ko kaya ito magagamit sa court??? i feel God's grace... :)

Ate marie, also gave me yellow flowers (mums).... :) and a letter... :)

sa sumunod na araw i still received some gifts like blouse from ate rose and kuya pol and card from jenna (which makes me smile).... :)

They are all special gifts from God...and sometimes the best gifts are those written in a piece of paper... :)

really appreciated those text messages (i do love dramas, so love those madramas na message)but i still appreciate those one liner greeting hahaha....the letter from ate marie really makes my heart cry (though no tears fall from my eyes, why??? sa 3rd part ng birthday blog entry ko...)...i love receiving letters and cards - masarap lang kasi magbasa ng mga messages na nag-sasabi that they appreciates you and nagsasabi that they will always be their....

I don't deserve these things - but God is gracious... :) Exodus 33:19b
I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.

I believe that it is God's character my protector and provider... :) God makes me feel that I am a lady now - daming flowers kasi eh...hehehe

I did something that I really don't want but - it pays off.... I am being undercover... :)

My 24th Birthday Part 3 is about - Galera trip... :)

My 24th Birthday!!!!Part 1

2009-08-24T15:40:00.007+08:00

Sobrang tulin talaga ng panahon, parang kaylan lang eh nasa college pa lang ako... now, I'm 24 y/o na.... so what happened on my 24th birthday (it is a month long celebration) - each day I received special gifts (tangibles or not)... :)

so here it is - August 1 - shopping & eat with my beloved sisters (nikki, rhian, mage). which we just accidentally saw mage at the mall.. :) super enjoyed it...

August 2 - shared the gospel to ate E.. :)
August 3 - Quiet time - 10 c's, 6P's, Breaking free...
August 4 - My uncle gave me money.
August 5 - Breakfast with my family... Kumpleto kami..:)
August 6 - Breakfast sa Jollibee, pancake & hot coffee..courtesy of my mom
August 7 - I enjoyed this day, had encounter with God (job hunting assessment), enjoy my friend's company, nagbalik PUP... (actually, everyday marami talaga eh..)
August 8 - Wisdom for preparing singles dgroup topic - enjoyed my fellowship with God. Smoked bacon pizza (uwi ni mama, sarap ng birthday mo talaga...hahaha)
August 9 - Wind - love it. Relax worship to God.
August 10 - Bridge teeth.. :)
August 11 - Dinner with My mom & Ninang sa enlins.. :)
August 12 - New Bible (gift ni mama)...:)
August 13 - Touching moment sa day 5 (Breaking free).
August 14 - Natupad din ang aking promised.
August 15 - I met some of my HS friends,someone was brave enough to be honest with me.. :)
August 16 - Youth Dgroup - insight on having the reward of crowns from Jesus. My 2 cousins attend singles' dgroup.
August 17 - Texted my ATE...
August 18 - 8 years with HIM; to celebrate it - ate at mcdo with my Ate's. Saw and some kulitan with my Lola E..
August 19 - Finished my poem's.
August 20 - My Birthday - another year from God.
12 mn greeters - Mama, JP, Gem, kuya smacky, monica
callers - Olan 12:14am, Ate marie 8:30/9:00am, Papa 12:41pm, Engr. Keno 21:44pm
Text greeters - monet, ryan, philip, trish, kuya mic, tita shiela, ade, lio, clang, ninang, jenna, maylin, japeth, maju, ate minet, ate anna, kuya lester, eileen, kuya ic, sr, tita jo, glaisa, irene, japeth, jhansen, shayne, tita alma, joanna, mertz, christine, abi, ate april, ate ann & doc jo, tita annabelle,chinnie, kuya clark, olan. (i hope don't miss anyone)
YM & Facebook & Friendster greeters - ate marie, kuya phytes, kuya kelvin, christian, aica, krizelle, ate minet, ayen, kaycee, monet, cecille, jp, jade, candace, tito ogie.
In person - mama, lester, randolf, olan, Tito eddie, Doc abet (I felt my father is here), karen, jade, rhea, jezreel, jackie, rio, cha, dom, jenny, ate emy, kuya pol, mga tito and tita sa church.

I thank God for making my day special by your greetings... Part 2 will be more special entry...:)

8 years with Him....

2009-08-17T14:36:00.002+08:00

If i will looked back - i still remember the time, place and date that I met HIM....it was during youth bible study at hiyas convention center... that I finally met HIM... that I finally accepted HIs love for me... I tought it was too good to be true, pero it is real... His love is unconditional...

He demonstrated His love to me by dying on the cross (Romans 5:8)... by giving me eternal life (John 3:16).... I already wrote many experiences with Him in my friendster blog.. now I just really want to write something... This coming August 18, my relationship with Him will turn 8 years now...

Despite of my childish act, my disobedience, not submitting to Him...doing on my own... He still hold my hand.. He never let me go - He shows His love to me everyday...in a different ways... He love me so much... I hope in some ways, I already having crowns that I could offer to Him....

What His name??? - His name is Jesus... the lover of my soul.... He is the one taking care of me...

I'll take care of you

I'll take care of you
Don't be sad, don't be blue
I'll never break your heart in two
'Cause I'll take care of you

I'll kiss your tears away
I'll end your lonely days
All that I'm really trying to say
Is I'll take care of you

I want you to know
That I love you so
I'm proud to tell the world you're mine
I've said it before,
I'll say it once more,
You'll be in my heart 'till the end of time

I'll take care of you,
Don't be sad, don't be blue
Just count on me your whole life through
And I'll take care of you

And I'll take care,
I'll take care of you...

Secret....

2009-08-12T12:46:00.003+08:00

Secret - Definition: Hidden; concealed; as, secret treasure; secret plans; a secret vow.

I just can't think of a title for my new blog, so secret na lang..hhahaha.. seriously, I am not a secret person, I am a celebrity, so people know my life - I just used to it... no private life...kidding aside, I don't really like making secrets - especially to my family and close friends (except that, I am keeping secrets of others...dito ako magaling) but for my own secret - i just can't hide it... I am not good really in lying and pretending (serious, I am not exalting myself).... Though of course, I kept my secrets - secrets.. Iyong hindi mo talaga sya masasabi sa ibang tao... recently I unloaded one - my secret - my embarassing moment - I never told it to others (no one knows it except those who witnessed it)... Well, ok din naman pala... hear just some laughter, but I don't feel embarassed na... I am boasting pa nga it, that it was the embarassing for all the embarassing moment (wala ng tatalo)....

I still have one secret - still not telling to anybody, but one day...one day... I want to break free from that moment....one day, I will tell it...

Last monday, being sick and just lying into my bed... nothing to do, I found a secret of other person. Well, I don't know if it is a secret but it is not my own business... and knowing it - makes me doubt to that person... I just can't give the full trust,.. Do I feel guilty??? Bad, not at all... I do now, but not that so guilty... I felt, I must know it.. It can affect my decision in the future... so I must know it...

I hope one day, I could tell to the person what I've discovered... I hope that I will be forgiven and not get angry with me....

What I've learned??? No idle times... or used it in more meaningful ways like reading a book, doing your quiet time.... listen to music....

I hope one day - I will unload my secrets....

Addiction....

2009-07-29T12:05:00.003+08:00

I myself witness many people who are being addicted to something - to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, computer games, relationships and many more...

According to wikipedia - The term "addiction" is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion, or excessive psychological dependence, such as: drug addiction (e.g. alcoholism), video game addiction, crime, money, work addiction, compulsive overeating, problem gambling, computer addiction, nicotine addiction, pornography addiction, etc.

and I myself too is not exempted to be an addict... Yes, you will say to me a "sobra naman ata iyong term na addict", minsan we justify things para mas mapababaw ito. I just realized if I will not stop doing what I am doing right now, one day I will just wake up to be an addict.

Sometimes, we don't realized that we are putting to much time, money, energy to one thing that would make us an addict (obsession, compulsion or excessive) (it might be a computer games, clothes, shoes, new hairstyle, etc.)...

Why I said that if I will not stop what I am doing right now, will make me an addict one day??? Because, of the pressure, stress, emotionless days that I have - I choose to comfort myself, to satisfy myself, to make myself happy for a short time - before hindi ako nag cocomputer shop pero lately, you will find me there because I chose it. I want to do nothing, think nothing, just to fill the time that I will not think of anything, to fill something to my numb heart.... I will play those games that I don't really know or love except of course to farmtown...

everytime I sleep, I don't want to think things, don't want to feel the hurt so I make sure that I will feel nothing - I will mixed a drink that will make me more sleepy (I drink that for 2 nights) yeah, it makes me sleep good and it makes me wake up early in the morning, I believe that there is nothing wrong I am drinking with moderation - it is just a ladies drink. But, as I don't talk to my Father, He continue speaking to me - He pursuing me.. He wants me to go straight to Him if there is something wrong, if I am pressured, stressed, if I am hurt...

I hope, tonight will be the night that I would finally talk, tell, lift up to my heavenly Father.... I already turn my face to home, I just have to move forward, walk forward, endure those things that will hinder me to be home with my heavenly Father...

Matthew 11:28-29
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Come Home Running by Chris Tomlin
Oh heart of mine, why must you stray?
From one so fair you run away
And one more time you have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine, come back home
You've been too long out on your own
And He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

Oh child of God so dearly loved
And ransomed by the Savior's blood
And called by name, Daughter and Son
Wrapped in the robe of righteousness

Improving!!!

2009-07-10T17:44:00.004+08:00

That's the word that I would describe myself. :)

Last weekend I had an opportunity to tie the series (wow, championship ba ito?). 1-1 na ang standing (clark, clarisse, clang, cha vs. olan, monet, anna, mae)... sayang ala si ate mae at si cha pero meron pa naman next time. Though I never get my range from outside (but I made some shots from the outside especially the winning basket)... My game really improve a lot, I still get tired but not that easily. The perseverance to win is still in me - so why we won??? Kuya clark is tall that is why he get most of the rebounds, clang is always on time in making her shots and giving all her energy to hassle especially in defense. That is why we won the game, but the win is not that easy. Monet still an all time shooter, a so kulit in the defensive end, olan also improve his game having an outside shot, and ate anna who, get tired but beat us inside - sabi nya pagod na sya pero ayon siya halos imiskor (na injured pa yan ah..hehehe).

I improved my game simply because I persevere. I never stop practicing my shots, my drive moves and reducing my weights. I persevere to improve myself because of them (opponents). Sabi ko kay monet, kaya ako nag-improve kasi naman ang galing nya. After ng game, I still want to improve my game - Yes I still go to marcelo complex to play ball and jog around.

There is always a room for improvement - I improve myself in taking criticisms to me. I never get emotional or think of it anymore and not judging them (well, more improvements pa). I also improve myself in not condemning myself (before I will text ate mae just to feel better, pero ngayon natatandaan ko na mga sinabi nya). There is always a smile in my face (maybe this is it (bakit emotionless ako)- joy not because of any feelings from the heart but experiencing joy because of Jesus' characters).

James 1:4
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

2 Peter 1:5-7 (New International Version)

5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.

Hebrews 10:36
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Friends, never stop on learning, improving. Always persevere.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2009-06-22T13:29:00.007+08:00

I didn't published anymore my last 2 blog entry. I believe that I was emotionally high then when i wrote those topics. I am ok now, I don't want it to be the reason na hindi maging maganda ang mga blog entry ko. For now, and for the following blog entries it will be about friendship and people who have been a blessing to me. (well, dapat may picture ako together with them para makagawa ako ng post - so it will be random kung ano un may available na picture iyong ang unahin kong gawan. => )

(I edited out the first part of these blog.)

Now, my friends knows how much I love them. How much i care for them, and how much important they are to me. But I will be specific muna this time. I will share my friendship with the two ladies I met way back 2005. This two young lady really inspire and encourage me. I don't know what's on them, but I believe that God sent them to be my friends and sisters. In them, my dream came true (to be an older sister to a sister, puro kapatid ko kasi lalaki). God let me be a sister to them (though mas mature sila sa akin)feeling ko ate na ate ako, especially when they are calling me. Through God, I gained their trust and also the trust of their mom (i hope so, haahahaha). My mom also allowed me din everytime I need to sleep over with their house, kapag I need to accompany them pinapayagan din ako ni mama. I never put them in my priorities and maybe that is the reason why God making the friendship stronger. I still try to protect them if I could, but not like the way I used before. God do more on the protection, and I do my prayer more (kahit sa iba). Honestly, God used them to mold me. To become a better sister to my brothers, to become a better friend to my other friends and dgroup mates, to become a better daughter to my parents. God used them for me to pursue Christ-likeness. (lahat naman silang mga dgroupmates ko). one of the message said "you can impress the people in a distance, but you can only impact them up-close" (basta parang ganyan). They let me see their life, their real life - that's why they had an impact to me. I am learning a lot from them, and really listening to their advice. Actually, they are one of those people that I seek advice everytime I need to decide on something (of course, after I ask God first). Kahit ako iyong ate sa amin, sila pa ang madalas magbigay ng payo sa akin. hahaha... thank you for being real... thank you for allowing me to be your sister and friend. They are like a rock and a pillow to me. I will always be around you girls.

Proverbs 12:26a
A righteous man is cautious in friendship,

Jenna, nikki, jennasky, valerie at kung ano-ano pa. Through her I learned a lot, I learned na magpapedicure, magparebond at it is ok to wear _________________. hahaha
As i've said before, kapag nanggagaling ako sakanila eh sumisipag ako pag-uwi ng bahay. She always has to say to my crushes and I listen naman, db I do? hehehe... kaya laging naiiba ang pananaw ko sa mga naging crush ko dahil sakanya..hahaha She's my ever loyal partner in registration team..hahaha.. I saw Jesus in her when I see her trusting God alone. When she is going out of her comfort zone.

Cha, charito, charitable, a super talented friend. As in to the max ang talent. Hahahaha...kapag kasama namin ito ni jenna, wala, walang lumilingon sa amin. Hahaha
Seriously, I am seeing Jesus in here life. (I also see Jesus to others). Iyon lang, hehehe.. She's one of my basketball buddies kahit few pa lang kaming nakapaglaro. I learned adobe photoshop from her. I learned a lot of movies and series from her. And mostly, I learned to really seek Jesus everyday.

Looking forward for more mcdo moments, rebonding moments, movie time moments, overnight moments, pedicure moments, kwentuhan moments, and mostly worshiping and serving Jesus moments.

Not taking the risk....

2009-06-22T11:55:00.005+08:00

Few days ago, i supposed to take the risk. A risk that I immediately decided. I want it as soon as possible. I consult a friend and my mom. So it makes me more firm in my decision. I am ready to take a risk to pray for that matter - as soon as he tell me. I am decided to pray for it. I am willing to give him hope, I wanted to hear it.

but as we all know God is good. It always been like this. When I am grounded by His word, there comes temptation which I not fall (because of God). When I take it on my own hands and want to do the desire of myself then God will not allow it to happened. He makes things so hard for me, which eventually I will surrender to Him. He changes persons actions or He speak to persons to do what is right.

Few days ago, I was so irritated the fact that the man I like can't be a man enough to really pursue me or man enough to be firm in his actions. i am not asking him to court me, but just to say to me how special I am, that his praying for me. These words I didn't hear till sunday (the day of my ultimatum). But now, I thank God because I know, how He speaks to me, He speak also to him. I will miss the old times, the day that I used to be to him,. but today, starting today - I will no longer make him tell to me the words that for months I am waiting to hear. I will let God work in his life...and so do mine. I will let God work in my life. I thank God for letting me think of this risk all over again - He allowed me to realized that I am not yet mature enough and that I still have to pray for the guy He is preparing for me I might not yet meet him - hopefully soon - when I am ready.

For months now, the emotions subsided (really). I still thank God the day He broke my heart, the feelings subsided. Starting today, I will pursue Jesus more and more,. 59 days to go before my birthday - I only had one desire (un selfish desire ha) and I believe God will grant me that desire.... I believe (but friends, don't be surprise if it is not in the package that I wanted) but I believe and hope ... :)

He understands.

2009-06-17T17:10:00.002+08:00

1 Corinthians 8:3
3But the man who loves God is known by God.

I love this verse, I love the topic of max lucado sa 1st day ng 2nd book ng Experiencing the Heart of Jesus. It was the time that I want someone just to understand me. Jesus did. I don't have to explain, why I did that or explain why i commit mistakes - He understands. But of course, i should confess my mistakes to Him and repent from that mistakes.

I disrespect one of my authority, (I just blew it, i believe this is not the time to explain it further. But it makes me more respectful right now and submissive. Sometimes it needs to happened. I just expressed my feelings to God (well, ok sa iba na rin, especially to those na naintindihan ako...haahhaha..bias..) But after it, I believe God spoke to me. He don't need more of explanation, I just have to repent and do want is right. I believe I am more respectful and submissive (really, well that is what i believe and God knows it).. I believe that by God's grace, I am doing what is right. One of the character that I really like to a person is being understanding, that they understand you, that they will believe that God is really working in you. Those people who are understanding kasi is the one who is a good encourager.. => those that are so sensitive enough to feel what you need.

I thank God, because He understands. It makes more sense to me why Jesus became a human - so He we can definitely believe that He understand. Nagdaan Siya sa mga tests, trials, pain, suffering, joy, others. Right now, when a person needs my advice or seeking my advice mas naiintindihan ko sila, kasi someone understands me - Jesus. Kaya pinakamamahal na apo - i understand you. :) kahit minsan nakukulitan at nasasaktan na din ako - i will still be here willing to listen, because I understand. Sorry for the times na naaasar ako sayo, sorry dahil lumalayo ako sayo. Babalik din tayo sa dati - promise.. :) sa mga anak ko - kahit napagsasabihan ko kayo or i was being mean or harsh minsan, I understand kung bakit ganun kayo (please understand me rin, hahaha). Basta let us focus sa purpose natin sa buhay - we are made for God, for His glory.

1 Corinthians 8:3
3But the man who loves God is known by God.

Retreat

2009-06-11T12:29:00.003+08:00

This is not supposed my blog entry - i have a really special blog entry but due to the request of my pinakamamahal na apo here I am writing my new blog entry. Ok naman sya so I will enjoy writing this. At ng may mabasa naman sya.hahaha

Retreat - A period of several days of withdrawal from society to a religious house for exclusive occupation in the duties of devotion; as, to appoint or observe a retreat.

withdrawal for prayer and study and meditation; "a religious retreat"

i got the definition on online dictionary. It is singles retreat(June 12-14) kaya naman busy ang schedule ko (actually, it is the most relax enjoyable preparation that I have).. It will be my third retreat in singles. 2009 is the year na lumipat na ako from youth to singles (hindi ako umattend ng youth retreat). First time ko to handle a group dito sa retreat, I believe that means that I am really going out to my comfort zone (God knows it)... Before pa ng June 12, I already talked to God. That I will be serious this time, hopefully iyong mga mahandle namin ni jenna maging D-group namin after ng retreat. It will also be the first time na hindi ko makakasama ang bestfriend ko sa singles retreat. I told her and a friend, that sayang she will not witness my maturity this time. Sayang hindi nya ako makikita na mature. Sabi naman ng friend ko ok nga un para kahit walang nagbabantay sa akin eh matino ako..hahaha

I remember my 1st ever singles retreat sa sitio...how stubborn i am, not wearing my id, not listening sa messages, awayin ng buong gabi ang bestfriend ko... Nun 2nd retreat ko sa singles, eh nag-li low na, hehehe...thank God, pero inaway ko pa din ang bestfriend ko....hahaha

now, sa June 12-14, it is not about me na or her, it is not about me having a relaxation or enjoying things in the event - it is all about God, honoring, glorifying Him. I made a mistake before the retreat but I believe it happened for a purpose. :) and it made me closer to God. I am pretty excited na for the retreat... Kinakabahan na nga ata ako eh, it will be a different singles retreat....

I will be a different clariz (by the way, it is chlarej that i used for my nickname. for a change)... It will be different because God made it different.. :)

Iyak

2009-06-03T12:02:00.002+08:00

Isa akong iyakin na tao, ngunit madalas ay kinukubli ko ito. Madali akong umiiyak sa mga pelikula na pinapanood ko lalo kung ito ay lovestory. Madali kasi akong masaktan, hahahaha. Isa akong sensitive na tao, kaya madali din akong mapaluha ng mga salita o kilos na nakakasakit. Pero sa bawat pagpatak ng aking luha, may natutunan ako.

1. Huwag kang iiyak ng sobra sobra sa gabi kapag ikaw ay may pasok o lakad kinabukasan. Super obvious na ikaw ay umiyak. At ang pangit ng mukha mo, hindi sya kakayanin kahit magconcealer ka pa.

2. Kung iiyak ka ng gabi, agahan mo. At un may poise na iyak, un dahan-dahan na pag patak ng luha. Huwag mo agad ipipikit ang mga mata mo para hindi ito mamaga.

3. Kung iyakin ka, huwag makipagkwentuhan o usap ng mga problem kapag nasa public place ka. I tell you, hindi mo kayang pigilan ang pag-patak ng luha kapag nalulungkot ka. kaya huwag makipagtext o usap na problema o madamdaming bagay ang topic.

4. Kung gusto mo lang umiyak ng umiyak na may kasama, tumawag ng kaibigan na handang hindi magsalita. Iyong hahayaan ka lang maglabas ng lahat ng luha mo.

5. Eto ang pinakamaganda sa lahat, iiyak mo lahat ng nararamdaman mo kay God. Iiyak mo lang, ilabas mo lang at pagkatapos magbasa ka ng Salita Niya sa Biblia. At maririnig mo ang Kanyang nais sabihin. (pwede ka rin umiyak while playing a christian lyrics song)

Iyakin ako, pero few people witness it. Hindi ako basta basta nagpapakita ng luha sa labas. Pero, hindi ako nahihiya na umiyak kay God kasi alam ko naiintindihan Niya ako.

John 11:35
Jesus wept.

2009-05-20T12:09:00.003+08:00

My Heart
angel 52009

Your voice melts my heart,
it keeps me smiling
it keeps me caring
it keeps me hoping.

Your smile uplifts my heart,
it keeps me believing
it keeps me striving
it keeps me growing.

Your love touches my heart,
it keeps me pretty,
it keeps me vibrant,
it keeps me sweet.

Your absence breaks my heart,
it keeps me missing,
it keeps me wanting,
it keeps me crying.

Last night, I cried again. I just can't stop my tears to fall. I thank God for being a comforter and listener. I asked some questions to Him, why is this like this and that.... I know, that what is going through in my life I believe that God wants the best for me and I just have to obey Him fully.

Hearing his voice makes my heart really broken. We're not like before, after the talk I said to God, "can't we just be like before?" "Why just can't we be us?" I know, God will surprise me with His answer, though He already answer my question, surely there is something that i wouldn't imagine.

Today, I really don't want to share much of my stories to my friends. I feel that I am being self-centered, though I already told it to a friend but not really that much that I wanted to really share it. Though part of my heart, I want to share it. I feel that anytime soon, I would give in, I would pour out my heart to him.

Poem

2009-05-05T12:52:00.000+08:00

I Wonder
Angel 050409

I wonder if you think of me,
Because you’re always that I think of.
I wonder if you are missing me,
Because you’re always that I’ve missing of.

I miss the old times we’re together.
I miss the person that I care.
I miss the person that I pray.
I miss the person that I love.

I wonder if you are also hurting,
because, deep inside I feel the pain.
My heart slowly breaking like a glass.
My heart hardly takes air to gasp.

Wondering if you’re there when I call.
I wonder if you will still call.
I wonder when we will talk again.
I wonder when we will walk again.

When will you say you miss me?
When will you ever say you care?
When will you say you love me?
I wonder when we will be together.

Amazing Race

2009-04-27T12:22:00.007+08:00

I couldn't remember how it started, but I was really a fan of Amazing Race. I love the reality show, I love the concept of the game, I love the challenges and I love seeing different countries. I dreamed of being in the race. I believe that I watched all the season of Amazing Race though I missed some of the episodes but I never missed to start and finish each season, except season 14. I knew in my heart that anytime soon their will be a new season of Amazing Race, unfortunately for me since our TV broke I don't have a chance to watch on Channel 23. Until today, I got a chance to watch it. Yes, I got a chance but I almost miss the whole season because today's episode is the 2nd or 3rd to the last episode of season 14. Next week will might be the last episode. I missed it. And I can't choose a team that I want to be the winner. I don't know them at all. I missed the new challenges that they faced. To be honest it was really disappointing missing a race that practically you've been watching since it was started. I missed the places that they went to. I miss it. And sharing my disappointment to someone who don't care the show is useless "they don't care" because they don't care about the show, they are not watching it.

Then I realized, many of us missing the real race. I might too missing the Amazing Race that God has set me in. Are you in the race that leads to a great price? What race are you in to? In John 3:16 16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. God want you to be in a race that will lead you to Him. Did you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior? If not, if you are reading this and your heart was been touch, that you realize you are a sinner and you need a Savior then simply put your faith on Jesus Christ alone. Trust what He did on the cross. You can pray this simple prayer to express you faith in Jesus Christ and receive Him into your heart as your Lord and Savior. You can only have to pray this prayer once but with sincerity because when He enters your life, He will never leave you.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, I need You. I confess that I am a sinner. I believe that you died on the cross to pay for all my sins. With your help, I will turn away from all my sins. Please come into my life and be my Lord and Savior. I accept your free gift of eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me eternal life. Amen.

Start joining in the Amazing Race God has set before us.

Knowing

2009-04-14T18:27:00.003+08:00

It is been a while that I haven't wrote anything here in my blog.... There are many things happened in my life, things that makes my heart moved, my heart break, my heart at peace...

Undeniably, it is obvious that I really don't have peace in my life. There is one thing bugging my ear telling "give it up", but I continue to tell "no, I will not. There is nothing wrong, why should I." Little did I notice, I got myself were I should not be into. I didn't notice that I am giving my whole heart.

Now, I understand Mordecai. She told me that she saw me how stubborn I was, how proud I was in front of her. I will never again forget this 2nd time that we are crying together. She explained to me everything that I need to know. I explained also to her why I acted like that, but of course at the end I was still the one who is wrong. I must admit, I was really stubborn. I really don't get her point, but I believe that was the time we need to talk. And God is always on time, we had a background song "Find us Faithful",
CHORUS:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

in tune to that, mordecai asking me "if your Dmembers is in my situation, would I allow them", after justifying myself first, God humbled me and I told her "of course not", that time I was thinking, If I am talking to a youth would I like her to respond obediently??? and that time, I prayed to God to help me to really fully obeyed Him. Yes, I obeyed as I thought.

Days ago, God finally break my callous heart. It was during dawnwatch when I poured my heart to God... Humbling myself before Him... and there is really a blessing when you humble yourself to God.. (He answered my prayer - to intentionally share the gospel). That day, we shared the gospel...:) again, I experienced the joy of sharing JEsus..:)
And that day also, I finally saw my stubborn heart. A heart that not really belong to Jesus.. A heart full of jealousy, selfishness, angry,.. Thank God, I have mature friends who, always check on me... :) That night, I was more calmed compared that afternoon... I realized that how much I give my heart away... I got myself early into bed and I slept for almost 10hours...:) and God has a surprised to me..

Isaiah 48:17-18
17 This is what the LORD says—
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
"I am the LORD your God,
who teaches you what is best for you,
who directs you in the way you should go.
18 If only you had paid attention to my commands,
your peace would have been like a river,
your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

I don’t know how long it was but, again I finally hear God’s voice audible. That His word is living. I poured my heart to God crying “if only I paid attention to Your commands”, if only I listen to my ate’s, my friends, I wouldn’t have to be in this situation.” I was crying not because of the pain I am feeling, but how stubborn I am to my Lord, to my Redeemer.. I bend my knee, I ask Him to give me peace in my heart.. I believed that He gave me peace that day. I was sleeping all day long. Read a book that afternoon, watch one movie and talk to my family while watching tv... I slept also that night with peace.. :) and the sunday and monday night... actually, I love sleeping nowadays..hehehe...

Now, slowly I am picking up the pieces of my broken heart. I told my friends that it was so fragile that I really want to take good care of it na... And I'm giving it back to the One who will take care of it - to my Savior and Lord Jesus...

I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to my beloved sister who throughout my stubbornness, who understands me, who comfort me when I need it, who sings with me when I am sad, who give me advice, who give everything what they got just to help me... who lead me to Jesus.. I love you all...

Thank YOU God...

Solution

2009-03-23T15:42:00.001+08:00

Many of us have many problems, different kind of problems. It might be broken relationship, financial, work etc. I was so stressed and pressured for the past few weeks and the only time that I am distress is when I have my time with God (quiet time, prayer time, reading the bible, worship), and also Singles and Youth dgroup is a help and talking to a friend also encourage me.

I don’t exactly remember but two weeks ago I have this problem of mine (one of many problems that I have) – and you know, I found a solution (literally found a solution to that problem) but I never used that solution to solve my problem. I believe that it is an answer to my dilemma but I don’t think that it is God’s solution. You know friends, in the subject of Mathematics, or Physic I encountered many problems and they all have a solution but there will always be the right solution to each problem. Am I right? Well correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t encountered difficult problems in Math for the several years now. My point is and what I’ve learned is that solution is not really the solution if it is not God’s solution. If I just used that solution to my problem maybe I am not facing that same problem right now. I might have a wonderful day ahead of me or these past few days, I might not hearing any nag or feeling the pressure. I might have something new on myself. I didn’t use that answer because I believe that God is watching. I believe that God is just molding my character – to trust Him.

Today, as I walked away from home to go to my office I know my mom and my brother are angry or mad with me (I hope not, but I know there are). The pressure is still on me, and it makes me so stress and you know what I found – a solution. Again, I found a solution to this dilemma and I just said “God, what are trying to teach me?” again, and I told God, “God, I think I can use this solution, anyway no one sees, anyway I have a problem and this is the only solution. Well, I didn’t use the solution before, maybe now I can used it. No one say thank you to me last time I gave the solution, so I doubt they will recognize this good act of mine so I might just use it.” You are a good God, and you’ll understand me and maybe You give me this solution.” And I sit down, think of it for a moment and I hear God says, “I can see you Clarisse, and you have the freewill, you can choose to used it but when you die and you will come to Me face to face and watch your life, will you be able to look at Me in my eyes, will it please Me?... and I answered God, “ok, tomorrow I will give it to them. Your right God, even if it will fix my problem it will be for a short time, but it will not let me sleep. And I am joyful to my decision, that again I will not use the solution that I found. And it is not about the people who will praise me but what is important is that I glorify God even no one knows or recognize it. But I want to write this because I want you, readers of my blog to know that God is watching, He is not in a distance He is beside us.

I want to praise God, for holding me and not falling to Satan’s deception.

Because of the pressure, stress of this world I lost my purpose. And I am asking God to show again to me my purpose in life. I lost my focus, but God is faithful He used circumstances like this to show His glory to answer me.

Isaiah 43:7
7 EVERYONE WHO IS CALLED BY MY NAME,
WHOM I CREATED FOR MY GLORY,
WHOM I FORMED AND MADE."

I was created for His glory!!!! You are created for His glory….

God's gift...

2009-03-11T16:13:00.006+08:00

Today March 11, 2009, 4:57 am "Mary Chrishaine" was born. My 1st niece (mother side, I have 1 nephew and niece on my father side). Well, I really wanted to see the baby but unfortunately it will take some time for me to be able to see her (I can't have my leave from the office).

My couz gave birth in a normal delivery, the baby's weight is 3.2 kg (she's big huh..)...

after reading the text that i got from my ninang... i was really amazed on how God really give life... Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
how the baby grow in the mother's womb..is it amazing - God is real... I really can't put the right words to describe what i really feel right now... all i can say "God is amazing"

I also admire my couz for giving her strength to give birth to a baby. I admire her for her courage to go to an operating room...

I also want to give credit to moms, i realized that moms will be there by your side no matter what. (my mom and ninang were there for shayne - that's love)..

I am pretty excited for my future family, holding a baby with my God's best husband...hehehe, enough for this...it will take years pa...

Couz, i love you. be the best mom you can be for Jesus.

Lord, I pray for my couz and her husband that they will be the kind of parents you want them to be. I pray that one day they will have an encounter with You. I pray for my niece Chrishaine that she will be the woman after your own heart. I pray that you guide her, protect her, give her good health and as early as possible she will seek You.

I also pray that i could be the best Auntie to my pamangkins...:)

May your will be done. Amen!!!

Psalm 127:3
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.

Note: photo is from the internet..

Tired!!!

2009-03-02T12:38:00.011+08:00

I really never experienced in my entire life to be tired like this. I am full of energy and always enthusiastic in everything and in anything, but this past few weeks, months - I feel so tired and down...

1. I am tired of hearing the same words about me.... I want them to see the beauty inside of me... Bible says - 1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

2. I am tired of all the responsibilities in my shoulders.... I want someone who will understand and help me.... Bible says - Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

3. I am tired of feeling that people judging me.... I want them to trust me.... Bible says - Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

4. I am tired of searching my heart's motive.... I want to believe that i have no bad intentions... Bible says - Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

5. I am tired of doing things that never used or appreciated..... I want them to see that I'm giving my best.... Bible says - 1 Corinthians 15:58
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

6. I am tired of hearing the same issues all over again.... I don't want my D-group member to be discourage or be in a hard situation... Bible says - 2 Chronicles 20:15
He said: "Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's.

7. I am tired of my having this kind of routine.... I want to explore new things, new place even in my rest day.... Bible says - Lamentations 3:23
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

8. I am tired of having a small circle of friends..... I want to have many friends that I could lead to Christ.... Bible says - Proverbs 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered,

9. I am tired of hearing my name.... I want at least once no one recognizes me or as if i am not existing.... - Bible says - 2 Corinthians 8:3-5
3For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, 4they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints. 5And they did not do as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then to us in keeping with God's will.

I told God, I am tired, I need energy and He answered -

Isaiah 40:30-31 (New International Version)

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I want to put my hope in the Lord - He will renew my strength, He will lead me to the right path... He will give not what I want but I know He will give what will be the best for me... for this period that I am so tired, I praise and adore God for who He really is, for being my comforter,... also this period of my tiredness, I appreciate two things at the end of the day - 1. my room that was clean and uncluttered (I always left my room messy, but thanks to my mom)...:) 2. encouragement - knowing someone believes in you...that I am giving my best to God...

I like this line from the movie of spiderman: great power, comes great responsibilities... is some point, spiderman got tired of helping people, got tired of what he supposed to do, and begun to be self-centered. I must admit, sometimes I am like him, I'm getting tired of the things I supposed to do, tired of the responsibilities but like him, He continue doing what he was called... I know I will not turn my back on my Master... I will do what God has called me to do.... and hear this verses from Him - Matthew 25:23
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

I know, I will not be just a supergirl but a woman after God's own heart... Friends, continue to pray for my spiritual life that I will continue to seek and serve Jesus Christ.

Just a Name Game

2009-02-27T17:36:00.003+08:00

Tagged by Ate Marie

It's not that hard. Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 5 people.

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name : Clarisse

2. A four Letter Word : Care

3. A boy's Name : Caleb

4. A girl's Name : Clarissa

5. An occupation : Cashier

6. A color : Carnation Pink

7. Something you'll wear : Chapsticks

9. A food : Chicken Adobo

10. Something found in the bathroom: Clorox

11. A place : Caribbean

12. A reason for being late : Clock didn't ring

13. Something you'd shout : Come on!

14. A movie title : Charlies Angels

15. Something you drink : Coke

16. A musical group: Casting Crown

17. An animal : Crab

18. A street name : Camia St.

19. A type of car : Chrysler

20. The title of a song : Crush

And I tag Jp, Joanna, Minet, ala na ako ma-tag...hahaha...

I can!

2009-02-24T13:04:00.005+08:00

What a powerful phrase...but of us we didn't use these words or phrase often. We usually say, "I can't do that" and these words often comes out of my mouth in a particular situation. I told my friends, I can't do it, not now, just give me a lot of time to do it or think about it.

I thought I need a lot time to do it, but I guess when God works, He works on time.

Though, it really hurts me I believe that it is what is right. Even it makes me weak right now, in a long run it will make me stronger than ever. One of my "anak" comment that "it is a godly move", hehehe..thanks for the encouragement... Through God, His word day by day though it is really hard on my part I am accomplishing it. Thanks also to my friend's email, it reminds me of what to do and to fully trust in the Lord.

Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

It is not the task that is hard to do, but the heart who don't want to do it - angel_clariz

In My Hand
(by:angel)

It is in my hand,
It makes me smile often
It makes me feel special
I want it in my hand.

It is in my hand,
If someone will take it,
I will hold on it
and grasp on it tightly.

It is in my hand.
If someone will tell me;
Let it go, drop it!
I can’t, i will not.

This thing in my hand.
It takes away my time,
It takes away my joy,
It takes away my heart.

I wanted to drop it,
My hand can’t do it.
It became my close friend
Just can’t let it go.

But God said, do it!
Just give it to me
I’ll take care of it.
It needs to be mold.

When the right time comes
I’ll bring it to you.
It might be the same
or might be another one.

Just trust me, my child.
I’ll give you the best,
that fitted in your hand
I will, my precious child.

I slowly opened my hand,
Gently, giving it to Him.
It crushed my fragile heart,
It makes my tears fall.

I looked at His eyes,
the One Whose holding it;
saying, I trust You Dad,
Let this thing be Yours.

Love, love, love

2009-02-13T12:52:00.013+08:00

Yes, it is February and it is love month it is giving chocolates, flowers, etc.. but you know, people out there make everyday a love day. Show your love to your family, friends, relatives not just on Feb. 14 but every day.

I must admit, I am affected of this so-called love month. This month I discover lots of songs that are really great. I always listen to those songs, Angel by tres is one of those song that will make us girls kilig, but I hope it will not be used by those guys who doesn't really meant it. I mean look what happened to the song "grow old with you", guys using it just to get the girls now a days, they don't really mean iy. (That's a big no - no for me, I don't like singing me a song that not really coming from the heart).

This will be the time for me two answer the two question that I didn't answer correctly. Question no. 1 (from the singles overnight) - What is the sweetest thing a guy did for you? Answer: The sweetest thing a guy did for me or will do, would be "waiting". On my college days, someone waited me after class, it is sweet and cute (mas naging cute sya) for him to wait for me (my last class that time probably 6-8:30). And in more broader side of waiting, the sweetest thing a guy would do for me is when he waits - that He never hurry to have a girlfriend or if he already had well, after he learned about God's best, he must not have other girl aside from me..hahaha, I know some guys who still not know how to wait or not really understand what God's best mean. You know, they will still date girls, have girlfriend then will just broke up, and when he got broke up with that girl he will come to me and ask me if he will make ligaw (that the 2nd no - no to me.)or a guy will tell you that they like you but if you tell them just to be friends, ayaw nila. and after weeks you will just find out the he has another girl. I don't like a guy that is not sincere. (answer for question no. 2 (singles night dinner) Ano ang gusto at ayaw mo sa isang guy).

Likes (Top 7)

1. Committed Follower of Christ - the real one.
2. Knows how to wait - sa lahat ng bagay.
3. Katulad ko - love sports, drama (lovestory), love writing and reading letters, thoughtful, sweet,simple etc.
4. Malinis at Masipag
5. Sincere / Honest
6. Faithful
7. Gentleman

Don't like (Top 7)

1. I don't like a guy na pipilitin bitbitin iyong bag ko. Ewan ko, maybe other girls would love that but me, hmmm.. I don't like to see my guy carrying my bag, alalay ba sya??? Well, he could carry naman other stuff like my paper bag etc. if I couldn't carry it.
2. I don't like who have many girl friends, ok lang naman to have a girl friends but not that super close...
3. May bisyo.
4. Mainitin ang ulo.
5. Arrogant
6. Magastos o maluho
7. Unbeliever

Ayan, at least now I answer those two questions seriously.

Love is in the Air

2009-02-13T12:29:00.003+08:00

Yes, love is in the air and February is the love month they so called. So I will be corny this time, well most people nowadays are corny.

When I was in grade school and high school my teachers will makes us a Valentine Cards, cards for your family and friends. I still have all that valentine cards from my friends, I still reading it time to time. I found out how corny those letters are but I love them and will keep them till I grow old. I love letters. :)

In Marcelo, they have different strategy. You have to buy a piece of paper that has a love stamp or heart then you will write to the person you want, even in other section and they will be the one to deliver it. I got one, and it is special. Why? I got one from my one of my friends in 1st year high school - Rhina Pascual. It is special because she still remember me despite that we no longer classmate then (2nd yr).Sadly, i have no connection right now with her, hopefully soon.

When I was in 3rd year I got some gifts from two guys, unfortunately for them I just accepted it and say thank you. I am super focus on my study then. Thank you again,. forgot the name of the other guy so might not say their names.

4th year comes, I thought I would have a date this time, I mean I am 4th year but I guess God has a different plan for me. February 2002 was the 1st year that I celebrated V-day with Jesus as my Lord and Savior. =>

Friends, If you are in love right now or love less I want to share with you Jesus. Jesus, shows what true love means - John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His One and Only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Jesus, loves you and me. In this V-day He wants you to really experience true love.If you still don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, put your trust to Jesus Christ that He died for your sins. Accept His eternal life gift. Jesus loves YOU...

Follow Me

2009-01-27T12:35:00.009+08:00

Could you easily follow?

Imagine your self driving a car with some friends going to Tagaytay for some vacation. You know the name / address where will you go but you don’t know how to get there. Your friend knows exactly and how to get there, so you asked himr to go first and you follow.

So you both start your engine and drive your cars. You drive comfortably in the NLEX road as you following your friend’s car. Seeing your friend’s car in front of you makes you cool even the traffic is so heavy at Balintawak. Your friend turned left when you both reach Quezon Avenue, you don’t know where he is going or you question “why he turned left when he supposed to go straight?” but you trust him and follow him as close as you can. As you following him, you are amaze to find out that it was a shortcut, an easy road where there is no traffic. You and your friends reached the SLEX road, and it excite you to finally get to Tagaytay and you notice your friend somehow slowing down. You wonder why? At the back of your mind, “well, I’ll just pass him; I will just figure it how to get to our destination.” But you chose to follow him instead, slowing down also your car and then you exclaim! “Thank God, I follow him” why, the reason why he is slowing down is that a road construction is ahead of you.

Finally, you get to the vicinity of Tagaytay. This really makes you more excited to see the vacation house. But then again, your friend stops his car at the side. This makes you nuts, “Why he stopped?” Then you found out that it is already 12nn, some of your friends already hungry.

Finally, you reached your destination. You proved that your friend knows exactly where you are going to, that he just wants to lead you where the best vacation house in Tagaytay.

Imagine, what if you lost your friend in the middle of the traffic? Will that make you panic? For me, I will be panicked. I don’t know where to go and now I can’t see my friend’s car. What if you accelerate your car when your friend slowing down? You might not want to imagine what will happen to you that will be morbid.

Life is like that, we face traffics. Problems are traffics in our life. It makes us feel tired about life but having Jesus with you makes life more comfortable knowing that Jesus is still in front of you. Sometimes, Jesus is leading us where we don’t know exactly He planned but you trust Him that He knows the best so you follow Him. Sometimes, we our selves making wrong turns or getting ahead of Jesus but Jesus making ways for us to be in the right way, He makes a way for us to slow down. Delays are not that bad. The difference here is the destination, your friend was leading you to a vacation house, but Jesus is leading you to your eternal home – HEAVEN. Heaven definitely much more of what this earth could offer. (Revelation 21:21 The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate made of a single pearl. The great street of the city was of pure gold, like transparent glass.)

Friends, do you find life so hard? Do you find your self hard to follow Jesus; even if He tells you many times to “follow Him”? Maybe, you still don’t know His heart; maybe you don’t know how much He loves you. God wants the best for you (Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.) God loves you so much (John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.)

Jesus Christ died for you. Jesus showed His love for you. As for me and those who follows Jesus – we chose to follow Jesus. How about YOU????

Matthew 4:19a
"Come, follow me," Jesus said,

Want to know my Secret?

2009-01-19T12:47:00.008+08:00

Psalm 45:11
The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

(I am wrote this blog not to exalt myself or be proud of myself, I just want to give back the glory to God.)

For the past few days, weeks, months & years I received praises and comments about how beautiful I am. (thanks to God and to all who appreciate my beauty). It is really overwhelming and flattering to received those comments.
Want to know my secret???

1. I start my day praising God and telling Him how beautifully He made that day.
2. I will get my mirror look at myself and thank God for making me beautiful.

that's it... and you know what, there are days that I would look at myself and tell "ang pangit ko naman today" and the whole day hindi ko talaga nagustuhan ang aking looks even I put make-up.

That's it Clarisse???? how about make-ups they make us beautiful...

Yes, my friends make-ups can help us to enhance our beauty. I still us make-up, but in simple ways.

before nag-eyeshadow pa ako and eyeliner and blush-on but today, I am just using concealer for my eyes, lipgloss for my lips and powder for my face...

Girl friends, I tell you, pursue a beautiful heart and you'll get a beautiful face.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Psalm 139:13-15

13 For You created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

She said....

2009-01-09T12:13:00.004+08:00

I had some chit-chats with my friends and one of my friend said something that makes be able to write this new blog entry... she said to me "ayaw mo bang sumaya?" (take note, I love this friend of my mine...:) )

Well, for some of you who already knew what girlfriends talking about most of the time you will get where she is coming from and you will get were I am coming from when I answered her...

I answered her, "masaya naman ako". Friends, sometimes we have a wrong notion of where or what is the source of our true happiness. People find their happiness in gadgets, in relationship, in food, friends, gimik, work, etc. But for me and I know some of you out their find the true joy in Jesus alone. Yes, I must admit some of the things I mention above makes me happy, but happiness is different from being joyful. Being joyful comes from within, it is something you already have in your heart even though you don't have anything in your hand. Being joyful, is from Jesus.

John 15:11
I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

And for those friends of mine who might read this blog and also thinking that I am not really enjoying my life.... I tell you, I am... I am living my life to the fullest.

A night to Remember

2009-01-05T12:11:00.005+08:00

2nd day of January 2009, we had an over night Singles D-group - a night to remember. That was one of the night or over night that I will truly treasure in my heart. It was not an ordinary night, God gave us something special. I know each one of us has something to tell, I can't share what they've learned but I can share with you what's mine.

I don't want to elaborate things, it is more beautiful if I will keep something to myself. Here it goes, I praise God for the availability of Kuya's house (Brother ni Ate Anna), I praise God for Ate Geh (tama ba ate Anna?) kasi we don't have to clean anymore. I praise God for the dinner we ate, sarap ng sinigang na hipon at corned beef at SAGING..hahaha.. I praise God for the snacks,.. for all the pillows na nagkalat, sa napakalamig na hangin... sa masarap na breakfast (Jan.3), sarap ng coffee, ng cowhead strawberry flavor, ng tinapay at palaman. Sarap ng breakfast... Sa aming less than 4 hours na pagtulog, at sa ilaw na hindi namin makita ang patayan... Sa kumot na solo ko..hahaha... Sa tough 10 questions na hindi naman 10 questions...hahaha...I praise God for reminding me to be humble.. I praise God for the new comment, it makes me more responsible and accountable with Jesus. I praise God for the circle of friends (Singles Dgroup) i have...kasama sila ate april and clang...

But most of all, I praise God for the activity we did that night.... It was special, it was a wake up call,and it was something new even if it is not... God's love never ends and that night super it really not end...

I am excited kung saan ako dadalhin ni God... I am excited to be part or be His instrument sa work Niya... I am excited to be working with Jesus side by side....

Friends, this is life ... It is about JESUS...

2008 Journey

2008-12-29T11:14:00.002+08:00

2 days to go before the end of the year, again we will all welcome the New Year with a bang. But before the year ends I will make some inventory of God’s faithfulness in my life….

Family – We been closer right now, mas maraming sweet moments and bonding moments especially with my brothers. May mga times pa rin syempre that you argue, but I can say that minimal na. Finally my mom joined a dgroup this year, and now she is active on serving God through music and Sunday school ministry. My brother lester, enters college and seeing him finally giving his commitment to serve God also. My brother randolf, he is still makulit but I can see that he is maturing na naman, I hope so..hahaha.. my father, who is working abroad, also serving God.
My 2 Aunt met Jesus Christ this year also. My cousins are now seeking Jesus. I know, it will be a long process for them as for my family also, but I am excited what God’s plan for my whole family.
God providing our needs, since July we are now eating 3x a day and sometimes more than 3x pa. We still live in an apartment na maganda..i have my own room kasi..hahaha
Nagkaroon ako ng another pamangking (Alfonso James) dalawa na pala ang pamangkin ko sa side ng aking father (si ski iyong isa na inaanak ko). Then by next year, magkakaroon na ulit me ng isa pa 1st pamangkin sa mother side…Waaaah, tumatanda na ako..

Spiritual life – Maraming encounter with God. There are many lessons that I have to apply in my life. I failed to read the whole Bible again and to share the Gospel to many but by God’s grace I led 2 young ladies to Christ. Sila iyong 2 na bago na nadagdag sa dgroup ko this year. Continue pa rin ang Dgroup.
I attended 2 retreats which, hindi pa rin ako ang participant… hahaha.. Youth and Singles retreat. I love the two retreats that I had attended and looking forward for 2009 retreat.
Singles D-group did I miss one or two meetings????? Love my sisters….

Personal life – Lovelife – I was broken hearted this year, as in super broken hearted it took me months to recover from that heartache, it makes me bitter but stronger??? But I still thank God for kilig moments. When He will make me see my crushes na hindi inaasahan. God make me more beautiful inside out (kaya ang dami nakapila..hahahaaha, ala pakialamanan blog ko to..hahaha)…
Many come and go but the best is yet to come (maybe in 2009, hahahaha)…
Friends – I gained friends this year (thank God) (nadagdagan ang super close friends ko) and God also giving me opportunities to meet my old friends also. I enjoyed lot of things that I did this year with my friends. Many to mention. I love my bonding moment with my bestfriend (I miss you so much, ate mae)…
I love also bonding moments with my sisters (singles dgroup)…. And tomorrow basketball game ako with some friends..
I got a regular job, Administrative Assistant in CCF Malolos (dami blessings ng work na ito)… excited me by January 2009… Will I be regular? I trust God…

Crying moments – hiniwalay ko talaga ito. Dami ko crying moments with God… dalas ko rin umiyak sa office ko sa CCF Malolos. But, there are few crying moments that I want to share with you.
When, I cried to God when I was super depressed. (dami worries and problems nun time na un sa family and sa work ko).
I cried to God when I was broken hearted. And I cried also to God when I am falling….

My crying moment with my ate. Grabe talaga rin iyon. First time we cried together. I thank God for that moment because I was redirected of my purpose. God made me realized that having a work is not about where I will be happy but it is about what really His plan for me. I love you ate.

Crying moment with a friend. This year 2 times she cried on my shoulder. Of course, I hate seeing her cry but you know, in that two instant I felt that God making my dream come true - To be a good friend and a good sister. And at the same time I'm also learning. I love you sis. By the way, this sister of mine also witnessed all the bitterness in my heart. I might not cry on her shoulder, but she got all the punches that I want to throw when I was bitter.

Character - God making me more not to worry but to always trust on Him. I am more sweet with my family, kaya lang lately hindi masyado. More giving. More open (at least ngaun mdyo nakakapag-open na ako sa iba)... pride, hmmm..still there but God is working on it. I am more discipline... Less time in watching tv, doing my exercise and having a good sleep, watching my eating habits (ok, minsan ndi na tama ang pagkain ko, lalo na when i skip meals)... More caring and loving to all. Humility??? God is still working on that.... hahaha... well, i think other could tell about my character, i really don't know eh..hahahaha

There are lots of things I wanted to share but I guess these things are enough for this year. God is faithful…

All in all, I love 2008 not because of the things I got or all the blessings that I get but because I still living with Jesus and for Jesus. And I am excited about 2009 because I know God is with me, He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5b). Kung ano man ang meron sa 2009 kasama ko si Jesus.

CHRISTmas

2008-12-24T12:18:00.003+08:00

Christmas Edition / Sunday, December 21, 2008
Ptr. Vince Burke

It's Christmas once again. The Christmas lights are alit everywhere. The malls are full of people. The streets are full of cars. Traffic is almost unbearable. It's that time of the year when everyone seems to be in a frenzy. Everyone is busy attending Christmas parties, wrapping and giving gifts. There is an air of celebration all around… but stop for a moment, and be still... think about this: Who and what are we really celebrating?

The message of Christmas isn't just Christmas lights, shopping, receiving gifts, giving gifts, parties. Christmas is really all about our loving God who came to earth in the form of man and died a very painful death so that we all may have eternal life.

The tiny baby in swaddling clothes we see in the 'belens' came for a purpose. Jesus chose to be born in a stable not in a palace as He deserved. He did not desire the comforts nor accolades fit for a heavenly king. He came to give His life so that we may have life. The little baby who cried for milk and found comfort in the breast of His mother while lying in the rough wooden trough, was the same man who was condemned for our sins and nailed to a cross, and the same God who rose from the dead to defeat sin and death so that we may live with Him forever. And He is the same God who lovingly extends His grace and mercy and who comforts us when we go through pain in this often difficult life.

Christmas is much, much more than following traditions, commercialism, materialism and indulgence. Christmas revolves around a person – Our Lord Jesus Christ. It is but fitting that those of us who profess to have a relationship with Jesus, those of us who consider Him our Lord and Savior, consider this season as a time to exalt Him and thank Him for what He has done. Christ is what makes Christmas special. Jesus is the only reason for the season.

The "Greatest Gift" we can ever receive this Christmas is Christ Himself. Matthew 1:21 tells us – “for He, Jesus, shall save His people from their sins." In Matthew 1:23, Jesus is called Emmanuel, which means "God with us." The Apostle Paul referred to Jesus as the "Indescribable Gift" in 2 Corinthians 9:15. And the Apostle John tells us how much God loves – “for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). Luke wrote in Luke 2:1, "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord." Christ is the ONLY Savior! Neither is there salvation in any other – for there is no other name under heaven given among men, whereby we can be saved (Acts 4:12).

Have you accepted this Great Gift of God? Are you sure you will have eternal life with Christ Jesus? You can be sure by praying and asking God by faith, to save you from the penalty of your sins by receiving the Lord Jesus as your Savior and God will do what He has promised for He has said in Acts 2:21: “And it shall BE, THAT EVERYONE WHO CALLS ON THE NAME OF THE Lord shall BE SAVED.”

Christmas can mean forgiveness of YOUR sins and an abundant NEW LIFE. If you have not received Jesus Christ, the risen Son of God, God in the flesh, why don't you ask Him to forgive your sins, why don't you turn to Christ and ask Him to be your Savior and Master right now?

Likewise, this Christmas may be the best time to give back the love of Jesus to those who need His love. Perhaps, there is a broken relationship that needs healing. If there is resentment and bitterness in your heart, just think about how much you are forgiven. Jesus' forgiveness will enable you to also forgive others. Jesus asks you to forgive as He has forgiven you. Philippians 2:8 tells us about Jesus' own humililty, “…And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” As Jesus humbled Himself, He too will enable us to humble ourselves and reach out, ask forgiveness without expecting anything in return.

This is a season to be humble and forgiving, a season to be thankful, to count our blessings because we have received God's greatest gift of all – Jesus Christ. He is what Christmas is all about.

As for me and my HOUSE..

2008-12-19T12:29:00.000+08:00

Joshua 24:15b
But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.

that is the verse that was in my heart last night. December 18, CCF Malolos held a Christmas Special and indeed it was so special for me. Why? I am not part of any ministry that night but I still have joy. Yes, I am just in the sideline, and the joy in my heart was overflowing.

Indeed, I was not able to invite or I invited some friends but they didn't come still I see the hope, of continuing to live for Christ and lead people for Christ. There was my family, serving Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord. My brother Randolf, who is so handsome and cute in the stage and my two pretty cousin, I see and felt that they really sings from the heart and for Jesus. My aunt, who were in the sideline teaching some steps to the kids. What a cute picture. And my mom, at last the concert was finished I will not be awaken by her voice in the morning (her voice really improves a lot, baka may pag-asa pa ako..hahaha) And my brother lester who was in the tech ministry, na napaka-gwapo in their tech uniform. :) I can't ask for more, I know in the coming years all my relatives will worship God. btw, my father in Saudi also serving God, minsan sya ang speaker sa Bible Study nila. And my Ninang, nag-mime sila sa Christmas party nila sa dgroup nya sa manila. I know, it is a long process sa bawat isa, alam ko marami pang character ang build ni God sa amin. And I'm excited for 2009 I believe that madadagdagan pa kami. I pray for my relatives salvation.

Thank you God, you are faithful.

Acts 16:31
They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household."

Perfect Blend

2008-12-16T12:14:00.000+08:00

I got a starbucks coffee from a friend, and I am excited to make one. So, today I asked my mom to bring it here in my office. I waited for it at nagtimpla ako. Nagpaturo ako how to used the coffee maker (ala kasi nun sa bahay namin). Medyo hindi yata ok pagkaka-sukat ko ng coffee at iyong time that I heated it. Pinatay ko kasi agad (nagmamadali kasi eh). I put some milk on it and sugar. I tasted it, well, I don’t like the taste it is not that bad but there is something wrong.

I learned that I have to ask the master of making coffee, well, I have to ask my friend how to make a good coffee at least she knows something about it. Same with our love life, you see friends there is SomeOne who makes a perfect blend. Who knows the right timing. Friends, not because we waited or everything is already set or everything is already there or we learned the topic of LCM means that yun na yun. We still have to ask the Master. Is it the time, is it him? Am I doing the right thing? Definitely, God will answer your question. J Because I asked Him; He answered.

Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Walking many miles

2008-12-11T11:59:00.000+08:00

Walking many miles even staying where you are... How that can be? Last December 4, CCF Malolos conducted a PDL-PNP Seminar in Camp Olivas. I really didn't volunteer myself because I know they don't needed me there and the fact that I have to work in my office. I used to it, to be left in my office. Then Friday came, all of my dgroup mates sa singles telling how they've experienced God, how amazing God is and I do believe in them because I experienced it before when I was able to join the said seminar in San Fernando. I told them and my dgroup leader that I really don't want to attend our meeting or even hear their experience because maiinggit lang ako. I haven't share the gospel for some quite time and I don't even follow up the girl and her guy friend that I shared the gospel last time, kahit kilala ko naman iyong girl or I have a connection. So, maiinggit lang ako. But you know what...

Yesterday, btw, I have a connection sa PNP there in Camp Olivas nasa ym list ko isang Police (through ym kasi pinadala mga names for certificates). Yesterday, he told me that he was encourage through all of my blog entries (take note, not only in blogspot pero pati sa friendster). God used him for me to encourage that I don't have to walk many miles just to encourage people or share about Jesus. Walking many miles even staying where I am. :) I was encourage to really continue to write blogs about how I experienced God about Jesus (btw, if you have enough time just about 30sec. or a minute click some google ads don't worry ala pong mangyayari sainyo, it will just benefit me..:) thanks)

I would like also to thank MR. Policeman for reading my blogs and I believe that God will finish the work He begun in you. I hope and pray that you will have the passion to continue to seek Jesus and start serving Him.

Next week, I will having a journey but I don't have to walk many miles, maybe just a kilometer. Pray for me, that I will be used by God to share the gospel to many students.

Deuteronomy 30:16
For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

Silence

2008-12-08T12:49:00.000+08:00

“It is far better to be silent than merely to increase the quantity of bad books”- Voltaire

I was known to be a talkative person meaning I always talk. I always been the noisy person in class. I love talking. I love telling all happenings in my life especially to the people I am close with. But as the quote said it is better to be silent. I feel that I was been to much of the talking with emotions. I told one of my friend, I will not talk much of it. I will just keep it to myself if it is not that important.

Job 13:5
If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.

I want to be more silent now so I would have wisdom to listen to others. I would have much time to see what other people need. I would be silent.

Walking in Darkness - Light

2008-12-05T12:11:00.000+08:00

Last night when I went home, it was too dark. There are only few stars in the sky and the moon wasn't that bright. I walked home, and it is dark I haven't see many fireflies that I saw the night before. There is no wind blowing towards me, the grass field was so calmed. I went home, with the hurt in my heart. Why am I feeling that way? I know, i know it is my fault. Some, we make life complicated. In Ecclesiastes 2:14 ..... while the fool walks in the darkness;.... It is true, sometimes we are fool that there is the light and yet we choose to walk in darkness.

I just thank God, because today though it is not a bright morning still I walked in the light. The hurt is not that painful, well if I will not think of it. I hope I will start applying what I've learned.

Give your Best

2008-12-02T12:37:00.000+08:00

I had a meeting last week, and I got some words that I can used to make my blog -

"para simple at hindi tayo mahirapan"
"mas less complicated"
"para hindi na marami pang trabaho"

There is nothing wrong in the above words or phrase, but it just crossed in my mine that, what is the real motive behind those reasons, I believe if I or you can give your best then give it why settle in simple thing or less complicated if it is not our best. Why settle in 2nd best if God will help me and you to do the tasks that we thought it's hard or complicated.

I like this phrase "why it can't be abnormal?" You see, friends sometimes we have to change things the way it used to be especially if changing it would be for the better. What I've learned from this meeting is.... I will not offer anything, that cost me nothing.

2 Samuel 24:24
But the king replied to Araunah, "No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing."

I will give my best, my time, my talent, my treasure, myself if that will cost me. Because it is God who I am serving...

STOP Walking

2008-11-28T12:09:00.000+08:00

I am a person who walk fast. I don't know why, but I get used to it. (Lagi kasi ako late nun student pa lang ako). Tito Ogie (our churchmate), saw me last time I went to Malolos, Crossing, he told me and Dom (her daughter) "astig" ko daw maglakad. Maybe, because I don't want to waste time and there is no reason for me to slow down.

But, God tought me "why" i should slow down. He used my mom to see the importance of slowing down or even stop in walking. I always walk when I go home from work. When I walk I just look straight or down, I will not look to the left or right (except kapag tatawid ako ha). I will not give a smile to the people I used to see everyday or people who recognizes me (remember, I'm an artist,..hahaha) My mom, told me a story of a lady. Why I was interested with this lady? It's been a year na nakikita ko sya sa kanyang talipapa, I used to dislike her, pero simula ng may nagtayo ng isa pang talipapa sa amin na katapat pa nya, I felt compassion for her. I felt more compassion for her when my mom told me her story.

Matthew 14:14
When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

Jesus, always have time to the people who are in need. And I really learned from Him how to stop walking. You see, my friends, compassion is not really compassion when there is no action. I know I cannot buy all the stuff na tinitinda ng woman na ito, but somehow I can stop sa talipapa nya and bumili ng kaunti (which kailangan din naman namin) and talk to her. And last Monday night, I stop bought some fish, chicken & eggplant, give her a smile & talk to her for a while. After that, I felt joy in my heart and told God, I hope I can lead her to Christ or even my mom will be used to lead her. Bless her oh God, bless her store even she didn't know you yet, hopefully soon..She will...

3 Important lessons

2008-11-25T12:23:00.000+08:00

November 23, 2008 - 20:56

I received a text message from Ate Marie....

Ate Marie: Whew! that was super close, 1pt lang :)
Me: Hehehe...nanonood si tatay? hahaha..gulat naman ako sau..hahaha..kinabahan nga me konti. :D happy, happy.
Ate Marie: Ako ang nagtuloy ng panonood. kala mo kasi kayo lang nanonood ng basket. hahaha
Me: Basket - ball ...hahahahaha.. Alam ko naman marami nanonood ng basketball, kaya lang sya lang ngtetext...hahahaha (i cut other text)... ndi ka pa matulog? may pasok bukas ah..hahahaha
Ate Marie: Manood pa me ng sharon.. basket is shortcut of basketball fyi ..:)
Me: hahahaha...ah sharon ok..hahahaha..ah shortcut, pba na lang mas maiksi.. ok nyt... (cut)
Ate Marie: (Forgot the 1st line of her txt). Hihirit ka pa? :) sleep well.
Me: hahaha..naku un na nga ilalagay ko kanina eh, pero kasi we are talking about the pba.hahaha..pero cge na nga ate basket na shortcut ng basketball. bkt b kc ang kulit ko at di na natuto..hahaha..nyt

I supposed to sleep after that exchanges of text messages but I decided to browse on my phone. To check new games from the site Clang gave me early that day. So I checked, can't find any games. I clicked on some links there and got into a free download site of logos, pictures, wallpaper etc. So i decided to click on the logos (i don't have logo in my phone) I chose sports category and I read the following categories:

basket
football
bowling
etc.

The pictures haven't yet downloaded but for sure the word "basket" means basketball. I told God, "God, what are you trying to tell me?" I laughed at myself and I told myself I should believe Ate Marie in the first place. But I just really don't know, I mean I always watch basketball and they haven't say it basket? even in articles. I learned three important things.

1. Learn to Accept
Genesis 33:11a
Please accept the present that was brought to you,

Sometimes, my heart get stubborn. I don't easily accept things that will benefit me, same with you. Be honest, sometimes people will give you a present then you will say "oh, ano 'to nakakahiya naman, sige sa susunod ikw naman bibigyan ko" or they will give you advice and you will say to them, "ok" but your heart saying "I don't understand you".

I used to used and hear the word basketball, that is why "basket" is new to me. Now Romans 12:2 give more meaning to me - Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

You see, not because everybody does it or say it makes it right or few does it or say it makes it wrong. How will we know when it is right? Ask God.

2. Learn to be humble

You see, when Ate marie told me "hihirit ka pa?", humirit pa talaga ako. In my heart I have to defend on myself, I mean "may tama rin naman ako ah". You know, I love trying to make "inis" Ate Marie, you know I just want to win over her just once (don't get me wrong, I don't compete with her (I love ate marie), kasi po when ever I will make a joke or make inis her I end up the one na naiinis, kasi she always win, she always have the point of our conversation). But as of now, I am a loser, but not totally because I am learning. :)
Psalm 25:9
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.

And I thought God was finish teaching me His lesson, you know what, the verse in my quiet time is this - John 3: 9 "How can this be?" Nicodemus asked. (read the previous verses in John 3).

3. Never question Jesus or God's wisdom. Just Trust HIM.

You see, I'm like Nicodemus, "How can be basket the shortcut of basketball?", and more so, I question God, when He tells me something like example He promise in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
How? How will you prosper me? How can I have a good future? and God answered me...
Isaiah 55:8
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

You see, God's wisdom is something we cannot fathom. And He has a better ways than our ways. I just have to trust Him, that His words are true and will prevail. Back to my conversation with Ate Marie, you see, I have to trust her. And accept the fact that she knows more than I know.

I thought it was just all that. While I am writing this blog, God impressed me something. To apply what I've learned.