You are and will never be alone... so let go!
I remember coming home from a Bible study crying - why?
because one of a friend that I like the most ay hindi ako napansin gaano
(Nakakatawang balikan, super childish) Childish it may seem but it made me
depressed.
I will do anything for my friend. When I label a friend a "friend"
definitely it means what it should mean... I could go on a concert even I don't
have money and worst even I am not really a fan just to chaperone for a friend
and have an opportunity to bond with them.
I really love having friends as I am
an extrovert and not having a sister at home...
Finally, nagka bestfriend na
din ako.... we will share things happening to us, we will seek each others
counsel and prayers... We are inseperable everytime may retreat (except syempre
pag breakout group)We are so besties (I thought)... Then one day, nawala syang
bigla,. I cannot remember anymore anong nangyari sa akin after that but
definitely na depress ako ng time na iyon, madaming gabi ako umiyak and
wondering, anong ginawa kong mali? may pagkukulang ba ako as a friend, or may
sumobra ba kaya inayawan na lang ako bilang kaibigan? Kahit ngayon naiiyak pa
ako tuwing naaalala ko, although she reached out bago ako kinasal and inamin
naman nya sa nawala, kala ko nga nun magiging friends na ulit kami... pero
siguro tapos na talaga chapter ng buhay namin na close friends kami... Until now
I am still wondering what went wrong...
I have countless of stories to tell how
friends hurt me (by leaving me and betraying me) but thank God for those experiences and to a friend and set of friends who showed me what
really friends are for... and thru them I've learned how to depend on God alone
and to be ok even if my friends have their own set of friends (or No. 2 besty
nila lang ako) I never felt alone anymore because I know Jesus is with me
daily.. God also blessed me with a husband na walang bestfriend and entrusted me
with 3 little children who will be my besties too... (That is how and extrovert like me survived pandemic lockdowns)
So, why am I writing? Dahil
masakit pa din naman mabawasan ng kaibigan... 2 years ago I felt I was betrayed
not only as a friend but a mother, syempre emotions overflowed, pero I believe
I've tried my best na mas intindihin sya and continue to believe and trust her.
But our friendship never been the same... And it is just recently I realized
that it will never be the same...
Then Satan starting to put lies in my head "you are not
worth replying, not even worth seeing your message" I thought expected ko naman
na itong separation na ito, but I never expected na iba iyong route na gusto nya
paano mag end,.
Super sad ako how it ends but I have to let go
na, i deny ko man na hindi ako affected pero alam ko iyong lungkot ng heart ko, (and it makes me commit sins). I believe I've tried my best to maintain the friendship pero I think the last thing na hindi ko pa nagagawa is to let go. To my friend,
praying the best of the best for you. Thank you for a decade you allowed me to
be there for you as your friend. May you have the deepest relationship with the
Lord no matter what the circumstances you are in..
To those who feel alone,
walang kaibigan na matatakbuhan... you have a friend in Jesus What a Friend We
Have in Jesus
Song by Alan Jackson
What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins
and griefs to bear
And what a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer
Oh,
what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not
carry
Everything to God in prayer
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there
trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged
Take it to the Lord in prayer
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our
every weakness
Take it to the Lord in prayer
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