humility in times of brokenness
I wanted her to come home that day... I cannot contain the pain; I cannot stand seeing my friends crying, stress etc. I thought I could do it, I could protect them so that I will not see her also in pain but I come to the point that I need her, I need her leadership, her care, her love.
When I used to be just a student – everything seems so easy. If I would have problems, I will just text her/ call her (then I will call/text her after I talked to God). I would use my privilege of being just a little child. Until, I start caring for her, I start feeling the pain she’s going through, I start taking care of the responsibilities that she’s doing. I thought, being the one who will encourage everyone, who will take good care of them will help her to do other things. That she will not be overwhelmed by the problems. I never knew that slowly it shows that I took her position, I never wanted it – all I want is not to see her cry. Until, I just feel that I also have to do it.
Doing this, little by little I also take care of my own problems. Unlike before – I share to her all my secrets – she is the 1st person to know everything about me. I may have some secrets but little by little I already told it to her. It was hard to bring back the old times – I am reaping what I sow and it really crushing my heart but I realized God is telling me “My child, just humble yourself.” No more excuses, no more if’s and buts’.”
Now, I’m not trying to protect her and please her – I’m loving her through obedience. I try everything I could for her not to be disappointed at me but God telling me – just obey and she will be joyful. Obeying Jesus with all my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength will bring joy to the person I really love not only just to her but to everyone else.
Proverbs 18:12
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.
When I used to be just a student – everything seems so easy. If I would have problems, I will just text her/ call her (then I will call/text her after I talked to God). I would use my privilege of being just a little child. Until, I start caring for her, I start feeling the pain she’s going through, I start taking care of the responsibilities that she’s doing. I thought, being the one who will encourage everyone, who will take good care of them will help her to do other things. That she will not be overwhelmed by the problems. I never knew that slowly it shows that I took her position, I never wanted it – all I want is not to see her cry. Until, I just feel that I also have to do it.
Doing this, little by little I also take care of my own problems. Unlike before – I share to her all my secrets – she is the 1st person to know everything about me. I may have some secrets but little by little I already told it to her. It was hard to bring back the old times – I am reaping what I sow and it really crushing my heart but I realized God is telling me “My child, just humble yourself.” No more excuses, no more if’s and buts’.”
Now, I’m not trying to protect her and please her – I’m loving her through obedience. I try everything I could for her not to be disappointed at me but God telling me – just obey and she will be joyful. Obeying Jesus with all my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength will bring joy to the person I really love not only just to her but to everyone else.
Proverbs 18:12
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.
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